i feel the same way he dose any more cant even walk in to a store or out side with out being scard of some one saying that im doing some thing im not and my po is not helping matter as it is , i feel his pain on this and i have yet to start the classes po says next month tho,, yaay :(

No real answers. It is horrible. So very sad I know

I have been done with SO classes for almost 10 years, but looking back, they were the most traumatizing part of the entire ordeal. Worse than being arrested, prison and supervised release.
Inventing a program for hundreds of thousands of US citizens who committed different crimes for different reasons is impossible. And it is very difficult to push back, when the therapist is wrong. They have too much power.

Honestly I never let my therapist control my life or what I did I would attend my classes and answer yes or no but I never let them control me

That's scary that he's told by a "professional" to walk away. Children are everywhere, they are unavoidable. Ts like they want to put offenders in a bubble away from life. Does this mean shoplifters should turn around anytime they pass a shop, muggers to avoid people with bags, vandals to stay away from things to destroy? Of course they are different crimes but that's how ludicrous it seems.

It is ludicrous. They have done so much harm and I don't know how to make him feel comfortable. He has gotten a little better his schedule before he met me was work then straight home every day. He went to the store once a week so there were less amount of times someone could say he was doing something wrong. They put fear into these people that at any time someone could shout rape and away they go again. So his fix was barely ever leave his home. I've gotten him out but it's so hard to have a good time because I can feel the tenseness radiating off of him. How do you undo 5 years of hell... I mean "therapy?"

What's worse is his offense wasn't even against a child but they put them all in one box with one label.

I did learn some things in my 5 years of therapy. However, I will concur that the greatest psychological damage I suffered came from therapy. It impossible to live and function in the world by strict avoidance. That being said, I truly believe that if you don't have an alibi, things can go pretty south in hurry if someone says something. I don't live in fear anymore. It took a while to get past this. I needed a separate therapist to help me work through the brain washing.

@Cakies08

I don't know if he served time in prison or jail or not, but I can tell you from experience the other inmates, the "do-gooders" from society they like to call themselves, threaten all the time the so's that if they ever even get near their child (which was ridiculous because most likely they were in another state far away) they would kill them.

Then on the therapy side while you are on probation you are given lie detector tests whether you have been in near proximity to a child, etc, etc. You have to avoid children while on probation, but then you get taught at the same time if a child was in trouble, they would hope that you would help.

Now how in the heck are you supposed to do that????????????????????????????????????

Confusion comes to mind and that is what your fiance is going through right now. He doesn't know how to act. I have been in and sometimes are still in his shoes many, many, many, many times.

The one situation that he has and is VERY blessed to have is you.

You have been instrumental in trying to get him not to be so scared. You are to be commended for that!

It is going to take some time for him to adjust to this "new normal". One thing that might help is reassure him that you have his back no matter what while he is out with you. There is no situation that will happen while he is with you directly. Maybe be arm-in-arm or holding hands will help ease the anxiety over the long haul. I know that you have probably been doing this already because you say that you can literally feel his tension.

Ask him how "safe" he feels with you while you are out with him? Then again... reassure him that nothing is going to happen as long as you have anything to say or do about it.

When he is by himself that is a different story. All I can say is that most stores have cameras down every aisle and even if there was an accusation there is video proof of his innocence. This might help him too. Or even purposely shop at places that have cameras so that may provide a little more comfort.

If down the road he is still having trouble, have him see a counselor that specializes in this sort of thing.

-Steps

@IntheStepsofJesus

Thank you very much for that. I do try to make him fell as comfortable as possible. Yes he did serve seven years behind bars. He knows its ridiculous he even said the same thing as you. "Stores have cameras." He has said he feels better because I am there but he also said he likes to be always vigilant and know who is around him. Which is fine but when we walked earlier he said "there are people coming two adults and a kid lets go to the other side of the street." My heart sank. I held his hand tight and told him "no we will stay on this side there are three adults besides you here nothing will happen." We walked by the kid said hi to him and off we all went. It just hurts that he thinks at any time he could be taken away. I might just do as you suggest and suggest therapy. He has been out in society for eight years and is still ver,y very fearful. Most of his fear is about me he worries that if someone finds out they might try to hurt me or him. These laws really need to be changed!

It's funny my two therapist who did my treatment no longer practice which I find kind of funny

How does he handle going to work?

therapist can be so different, there are the ones that need to be dead and then the good ones that really care, they commit to helping you become normal, help find jobs and go to bat for you with probation if a problem comes up. I had a sorry one at first, he did nothing but doze off all the time and try and make you life hell. He would even say if you are getting a hair cut and kids come in you need to get out of the chair and leave even if your hair is half cut, lol what a prick. But luckily probation dept at that time finally fired him and hired another treatment provider which was the best thing for many of us at that time. I still work with the second one to this day.

Unfortunately this seems to be the case all across the world. Im just about to get off the Sex offenders registry after 8 yrs come May. It has been horrible like others have noted and I have experienced what others have shared here, After breaking the registry rules twice simply forjoining an aquatic centre to go to their gym and having a university email address that I had to ask the police themselves if I could do the university course the best I the best solution I found was to fully be aware of the rules of the registry and to tell the police everything Ive been doing. It completely sucks as they do put us all into one box. I was put on it for reading ficticious child porn stories. Was it wrong. Yes absolutely.

Unfortunately though you never want him to feel "too comfortable" In fact, even without the label no one should feel "too comfortable" in this country. Any adult that would stay in a room with a child alone (not there own) even for a moment is a fool in my opinion - and that is just one example. People are seeing monsters every where - an adult cannot even sit alone on a park bench any more or watch children playing in a school yard with out someone thinking it is suspicious ...