Families of SOs Community Group
WE HAVE MOVED!!! ............................. ............................... ......................... ............................ ............................. .......................... HERE: http://support-for-families.boards.net ............. ................ ............... ................ ............................... .................Please create a profile...
I am new here but must point out the level of love, knowledge and support from this community is amazing! For anyone new here I MUST emphasize the importance of reaching out! Bear your soul... you're going to find out you are far from alone! It's crucial during these times!
Many of you know that I am extremely close to a rso. Having one in my family that I am extremely close to has opened doors for me to openly accept a beautiful blossoming friendship. I had no idea when I met him that he was registered, but anyone on this list carries a burden that is so detectable to me. I decided to look him up and my intuitions were right. I was shattered for this man. This man, this beautiful, warm, compassionate man I know couldn't possibly be the same man!
No one should be defined by their mistakes.
The fact is ALL of us have a past we regret. Every single one! The reality that these men and women are marked for life with a scarlet letter based on mistakes from their past is 100% damaging. You try, everyday! Struggle to move this mountain that will always be there. Faced with solitude you cling to every hope that someone can possibly walk this path with you. The knowledge that anyone you get close to may possibly walk away instantly is gut wrenching. It's almost easier to dwell in the solitude for the sake of your heart.
I can't allow him to live this way anymore! I have not revealed to him that I know, but am very constant in reiterating that there is nothing he can say to me that will make me walk away. In one hand I want to know that this friendship is important enough to him that he can feel free to tell me, and in the other I want him to know that I have this love for him even after the knowledge of his regrets. And this friendship was built on compassion and understanding.
I, personally, have no idea if this is the right decision, but blurting it out doesn't seem right. He told me he would like to sit down and talk to me on Saturday. Any advice on how to make this conversation go easier? I need to lift this burden from him and help him heal.
Many of you know that I am extremely close to a rso. Having one in my family that I am extremely close to has opened doors for me to openly accept a beautiful blossoming friendship. I had no idea when I met him that he was registered, but anyone on this list carries a burden that is so detectable to me. I decided to look him up and my intuitions were right. I was shattered for this man. This man, this beautiful, warm, compassionate man I know couldn't possibly be the same man!
No one should be defined by their mistakes.
The fact is ALL of us have a past we regret. Every single one! The reality that these men and women are marked for life with a scarlet letter based on mistakes from their past is 100% damaging. You try, everyday! Struggle to move this mountain that will always be there. Faced with solitude you cling to every hope that someone can possibly walk this path with you. The knowledge that anyone you get close to may possibly walk away instantly is gut wrenching. It's almost easier to dwell in the solitude for the sake of your heart.
I can't allow him to live this way anymore! I have not revealed to him that I know, but am very constant in reiterating that there is nothing he can say to me that will make me walk away. In one hand I want to know that this friendship is important enough to him that he can feel free to tell me, and in the other I want him to know that I have this love for him even after the knowledge of his regrets. And this friendship was built on compassion and understanding.
I, personally, have no idea if this is the right decision, but blurting it out doesn't seem right. He told me he would like to sit down and talk to me on Saturday. Any advice on how to make this conversation go easier? I need to lift this burden from him and help him heal.
It's hard for them to forgive themselves for their past, as many continue to judge them for it. You have to remind him he isn't the person he was (if guilty), that we all do things we regret. It's wither he has learned from those decisions and turned his life around.
John 3:16, Rom 3:23, I John 1:9
He is lucky to have found you.
My problem is not that my husband was caught in an unjust Craigslist Sting, my problem is the intent.
My husband intended to cheat on me. It was the old bait and switch and I know in my heart that he would never have had a sexual encounter with a young girl. But I am disheartened that he intended to cheat on me.
Difficult to support a spouse that needs help to lead any kind of life after release, when he intended to brake marriage vows..
It'd be difficult to stick by someone who thought so little of you at the time. Hopefully someone here can help you get through this!
I'll be keeping you in my prayers. Don't lose hope just yet or jump to conclusions. Sex offense covers a long list of offenses. It could be small or it could be large. Whatever the offense and depending where you live, he could be forced to wear his scarlet letter from anywhere from ten years to the rest of his life. Also find out when the act was committed. Who knows? He might have gone through a support group or counseling. There's incredible healing that can go on even in five years or so. In any case, whatever you find out don't give into the label. He is still the same man you know and love. If he tells you, trust what he has to say. Be cautious, but do your best to trust. If he's telling you this it means that he trusts you and hopes that you won't reject him like the others. I know it's an incredible leap of faith... but do your best you can with your compassion.
Praying for you. Share how it goes if you feel comfortable.
Layne