That kind of investigation can take as long as a year or more. The waiting is horrible. You spend a lot of time on forums like this one to learn as much as you can about how this nightmare unfolds for other people. This is so you can get some kind of idea what your future will be like. I wish I could be more comforting, but it is a nightmare, plain and simple. Just know we're here for you and we do understand.

One more thing, I was on antidepressant medication for about two years. My family doctor didn't hesitate to prescribe it, when I told him my story. The meds really helped me cope.

I take an antianxiety medication. It definitely helps, as I had issues with anxiety before all of this happened.

The waiting is awful. Its the not knowing that really got to me. I have children so I focused my time on them. We done all the fun things we could, went on a holiday, days out, watched tv at night. We watched series of things that filled time. I had a breakdown after month 6, it got too much for me but I grounded myself again. The waiting isn't easy. Just fill your time, don't forget you are still a person, try not to lose who you were.

I would suggest getting your own forensics done. My son was charged with 1 count cp and from our forensics they couldn't even find the one they' plastered all over his paperwork.

The FEDS had a ton of pages from their forensics which was really deceiving. We had 2 sets done and the reports were 2 pages long. It cost me $2500 for each. It still didn't get him off, even tho it proved he downloaded by accident.. You can't fight this stuff, the prosecutors lie and the judges always agree with them.
But we have proof of my son's innocence, hoping we could use it some day to free him from this crap.

Do it quickly tho, because once the government is done with your computer it's toast.

Nako, you should write a book. That's horribly unfair!

honestw : luckily he had me to pay for attorneys and have a place to live here in PA instead of FL where he'd either still be in prison or homeless.

Yes, it's still unfair and at the age of 25 he's depressed and hasn't had a girlfriend since he was 19. . which seems to be his main frustration these days. He's afraid to start a relationship.

There are others who's lives are ruined as well and have no resources and that really bothers me too. It reminds me of the holocaust and Japapese internment camps.. worse than the war on drugs because it follows you your whole life and he's automatically a 'creep' if someone hears about it and doesn't know him.

When it first happened to him we didn't think it was a big deal. Never heard of this kind of thing and he only had a couple he knew of among all the music videos. I wish we had been more aggressive from the beginning. The 1st lawyer was on the FEDS side and agreed that my son had a problem.. I could write book. I have a blog tho www.sugarforsalt.com Maybe someday he will.

Lack of financial resources is a huge issue in many cases. My BF has a good lawyer who seems to know what he is doing, but I often worry that a "great" lawyer would be a better option. Unfortunately, the ones known to be great are REALLY expensive. Add in trouble finding a good job while this is going on, my BF losing his apartment and needing a new place to live, treatment, etc, and things quickly become insurmountable.

My son had a supposedly great lawyer. She came highly recommended by another lawyer. She boasted to my son that she had never lost any of the 50 or so sex assault cases she had handled. She charged my son $75,000, of which he was able to pay $50,000, before the trial.

Well, guess what. My son's case was the first one she lost. She did a terrible job. I don't know exactly what happened, but she definitely lost her mojo. My son got 4 years to life. She's no longer practicing law.

The moral of the story is: Money can't buy happiness...or acquittal.

The fact that he has a good lawyer is a plus and that he is in counseling is good too. My husband started right after the "raid" it took 8 months for charges to come. We r now in the process of trying to work out a plea. How bad it can be depends on what state u r in and if it goes to federal or stays at state level. We have been "lucky" it stayed at state level. It has cost a fortune in legal fees and my husband lost his job. I won't lie and say if we had not been married I probably would not have stayed. I am still struggling with the why he did and don't know if I will ever understand. Feel free to pm me if u want to talk. I will say at this point he is looking at a sentence of 12 to 24 months confinement and 8 yrs probation along with being on the sex registers. Above all else keep your head up u did nothing wrong and there was nothing u could have done to prevent this.

Newbie.. 'Great' lawyers are not always better. I hired 2 lawyers here in Philly. 1 who took care of the small fight we had with his PO over him not having to take SO treatment, which the judge put in his release papers. He was really good and took care of it at a 'reasonable' price of $1500. It seems a lot but the court is involved and it was a bit time consuming.
Then we hired a 'great' lawyer hoping that he would be able to objectively look at my son's case and then find the loop holes or be creative with fighting back what happened to my son. $16000 later I fired him because he told me what I already knew and didn't really understand SO related law like he said he did.

So we're going to back to #1 next year to get my son's probation cut back. You need a lawyer who will listen to you and not 'lawyer talk'. Someone you connect with and who understands what you're really going thru.

I have to say, $75K is a lot. I spent $25K on the 1st crappy lawyer we had at the beginning of all this, then hired the right guy for $50K. I would have kept him but he's in Floriduh and we're now in PA. All in all I've ended up spending over $140K - $160K.. (I haven't wanted to write it all down but it might be more) on lawyers since this all started 6 years ago. If he boasts that he won those cases.. I'd look into it, because these are not winnable cases.

The waiting is one of the hardware things to deal with. Just take it one day at a time, otherwise it gets overwhelming.

ThoughtAsWeak is right. You go by the day, as soon as you look too far ahead that's where the panic sets in! You cant predict what will happen, I know I went through every possible scenario and conversation in my head, still do. It can really get to you. Concentrate on today it's easier!

Hmmmm... How to deal with the waiting... I had to wait for 1 /1/2 years for the charges to even be brought. In the mean time I relied on my family standing by my side. At the same time I had to maintain my job knowing full well that my fellow workers knew what I was going through. Some came to my office telling me that it didn't change the way they thought of me. The rest didn't show any response at all. In addition to all of this my job required perfection to the point that an error on my part could cost the company millions of dollars. Thankfully most of my work was written and in motion before all of this but that made it harder for me.... Having to sit in my office every day... not able to make only minor changes so as to minimize any impact of a mistake.... just sitting there surfing the internet for something to do... waiting for the phone to ring. Staring at the walls 8 hours a day was excruciating. I was luckily able to retire 2 years later.

I did ask my doctor for Atavin to help relieve my anxiety.

You must find something to take your mind off the situation as it's mostly out of your control and the worry will harm you needlessly. I'm not saying forget about it as I could not but do everything you can to lead a normal life not consumed by this. You will find who your real friends are. Seek them out and lean on them as they are your true strength.