Families of SOs Community Group

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Heartbroken again...

healing102
healing102

My oldest brother was convicted when I was 11. He served his time but in my opinion never really dealt with it. He was incarcerated for 10 years and got out before my wedding 8 years ago. He has since re-established himself and even has a young daughter. Fast forward 3 days ago he was arrested for child pornography. I'm hurt. I'm pissed. We all worked hard to see him through this and worked to build a relationship. We gave support and were there 100%. I know this is a sickness. I'm angry that he completely screwed up his second chance at life and more importantly that his daughter will grow up now without a Dad. I know he needs real help to deal with his own past and his current addiction. I want to be done. I want to write him off completely. My whole family does. I know he needs Christ. He needs healing. I don't know how to be there. I have two kids. They come first 100% and I just don't know where to go from here. 

Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug for you healing..... I think that you can absolutely hate what he has done but love your brother

I can only imagine that this would be really hard to deal with.... Another hug..... xo
brknhrt
brknhrt
I'm so sorry to hear you are in this situation. I can relate on two levels--one is that my son committed a sex offense when he was a juvenile and also had an addiction to porn. I'm afraid for him for something like this to happen someday. You're right it is a true addiction and it's hard because you can't "just say no" to your sexuality.

I also can relate because my brother is going through a lot of hard times, is facing the consequences of past and current decisions and mistakes and hurting others...I know he's hurting and I don't want him to be alone in the world but there's only so much I can do and I'm learning I have to take care of myself and my family too. It's a hard tightrope to walk. My goal lately is "support the positive without enabling the negative," but when it gets down to specific decisions it's usually not clear which is which.

Look up the song "Sometimes People Are Good" by Fred Rogers on youtube sometime. It's written for preschoolers but has a message that most adults still can't grasp, an important one in dealing with this stuff.
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