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sooconfused 01/08/2010

My son who is 32 had confessed to 4 years ago inappropriatley (sp) touching his 10 year old step daughter. He has been out on bod for 4 months and court was today. My daughter n law..her mom and Taums paternal grand ma were all there with pics. etc, crying and asking the judge for the max.We had been told there was a 10 year cap. We thought him turning himself in might help a little but it did not. He got the 10 years. PD had prepared us for the fact that he was trying hard for probation but he thought he would get 1-3 years. I almost had not expected to see them there. I know they are in pain and angry. 3 months ago a radio station ran an add for a free 2010 nissan to a family with the most deserving story. My daughter n laws story started that she was being terrorized by my son and he had taken everything of value out of there home and they had to move out for fear. And then he went to the police and turned himself in that he had been molesting the oldest child and she was driving a car with 180,000 miles on it. Robert had gone into the house one weekend and took the computer which he said was his and replaced it with an oldder one. They spent a week going thru the house and everything in it went to storage except his clothes and pictures which got thrown in to a rental shed they had and then hauled off. Now this is what they did before they knew about what had happened with Tatum. Mention child molestation and it gets everyones attention. She won the car. Her and her friends walked out the court room today hugging laughing and into her brand new vehicle, Not sure if I am wrong for feeling this is wrong. All I know right now Is this was my baby and he and i were in the same business and we talked 4-5 times a day. I don't know what I am going to do with out him or what will happen to him in jail when his bi polar kicks in and he is dillusional, Not sure if maybe i had tried harder to afford a lawyer maybe he would be home. I do know now the reason they call it heart break because i feel like mine is truly broken,Lost and confused

deleted_user 01/08/2010

I am so sorry that things turned out the way they did for you and for your son. How awful for you.

I don't think you are wrong to be upset with the daughter in law. I would be also. She sounds like a materialistic little thing. Using her situation to get that new car.

I'm sure you are feeling desperate and alone right now. You have to hang in there! We will be here to help if we can. You will be in my prayers

DB

deleted_user 01/08/2010

So sorry to hear that things did not go the way you had hoped...... I too would be upset with your daughter inlaw and the lies she told. This is a very upsetting time and you really didn't need that to top it all off.

I am not sure what your jails are like down there but, apparently the ones here in Ontario are pretty good when it comes to a persons health. He should be able to have a steady Dr. for his condition and his meds should also be available for him. Once your nerves settle, figure out what jail he is going to and call and ask these sort of questions...or ask his lawyer to find out for you.

Thinking of you and sending some warm ~HUGS~ your way.

deleted_user 01/09/2010

I too, am just so sorry to hear about your son's sentence. Sweetie, here is the thing. If you had had the money for a PAY atty, you would have paid for one right? This is just so hard for us who do not have the income if our loved ones get into trouble. You can do all of the coulda, woulda, shoulda, and it will not change what has happened. We have to deal with what is ahead and face it as best as we can. I am a very scary person when it comes to my situatiion, but for others, I wish for the best for them. Look on this site and you will see some of the long term sentences and there are short ones too, but we have to know that our children will come home one day, we just have to be healthy and hopeful for them when they do return. I think that I worry more about whether they will be able to stay OUT of there, once they are released. U will survive and so will we all! As far as that daughter in law? You have to erase her like she never existed. If you don't, she will eat you alive. Get her out of your head, ANY WAY YOU CAN. You have your son to worry about, and yourself, and that's it. We will talk again. Love, Shell

deleted_user 01/09/2010

I too am sorry about your son's sentence. You never know, however, if you had paid for a lawyer that the outcome would have been any different.
Shell gave you some good advice, get this dil out of your life and mind. She is nothing but trouble.

Donna

flmombs 01/09/2010

I am so sorry.....such a sad time for you both...I know....These ladies are right, Susan....Friends of ours paid for a very expensive attorney for my son, Eddie...That guy did nothing to help...only conned Eddie into taking a plea deal...20+ years!! We had high hopes but things don't always work out for the best..There is nothing I could add, except please know we are here for you....Best of luck and prayers...Love, Barbara

sooconfused 01/09/2010

Thanks everyone for words of hope and kindness. I have alot to do next week. This was a plea his lawyer got him with a cap of 10 years. He told us he thought my son would get 1-3. I was told i have 10 days to file an appeal but we can only appeal if we feel the judge did something wrong. I have to check into this a little more.
Susan

sadandmad 01/10/2010

I am so sorry that things didn't go the way you hoped. My husband is still in pre-trial status, but should be going before the judge to plead guilty this week. He's going back to prison then from a mental health facility. He was suicidal. The idea of going back to prison is really tough mostly on him. We're both scared for different things, but I have to try to rise above............you do too. Try to make the best of what you can. Do the little things that are allowed as best you can. Remember that you didn't do anything wrong. I keep telling myself that, but it's tough. Obviously, the other family is having a difficult time, but they don't need to take it out to the public. It's not just your son who will be hurt. What about the 10 yr old child? So sad. So sad for you and your family. These situations are heartbreaking. God bless you and your family.

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