Things are hard right now. Some of the neighbors found out about my fiance's charges. He does not even live here but only comes once every other weekend to see his boys. One of the mom's went door to door to all my other neighbors. The stress is unbelievable. I knew that we would have to deal with this at some point but my boys are only four and two and it breaks my heart to see the kids shunning them. He has only been out of jail for five months and now he does not want to come see the boys for fear the neighbors will call the police and make some crap up and get him violated and sent back to prison. It is already hard having only ten or twelve hours with him a week and living in different places. I am strong but this is so hard. I love him so much and I cannot imagine life without him. Being with someone else would be like going through the motions of my life without the rest of my heart. My children are my heart and I hate what this is going to do to them. Why do I feel like the selfish one here? I feel so isolated. I hate this so much! We are all doing his time together and I wish he could see that. I could make myself crazy going over it and over it all the time. I do not understand what I can do to help myself get some sort of balance to this poor excuse of a life we have.