Families of SOs Community Group
WE HAVE MOVED!!! ............................. ............................... ......................... ............................ ............................. .......................... HERE: http://support-for-families.boards.net ............. ................ ............... ................ ............................... .................Please create a profile...
Like many, I'm grateful to have found a support group so quickly. My son was arrested this past Sunday. I was there to witness it and knew why. The levels or circles keep growing and growing for what we need to do to support his family and the children affected and his circle of friends that after knowing him most of his life are shocked, and our family and their families. Fear of losing access to the youngest grandchild on our part and mostly his father's part is huge. What is most painful to me is that as we go into a survival mode of our own (closing social media accounts and starting over with email accounts and anything that ties us to him because we fear the rebound), I also see us grieving as if he is dying or dead, we are erasing him publicly so we can survive what may be coming as far as press and friends becoming aware. As his mother, it is beyond scope. I've been the mother of a victim of child sexual abuse by a family friend, but now I'm the mother of a perpetrator (who as far as we know has a history somewhere, but not any that we can think of or that he's ever revealed). We are not fighting what is happening, because it happened. He is guilty. Again...all of the thoughts and feelings are overwhelming and we are all seeking counseling as fast as we can call for appointments for the adults and the children in our family who are confused and frightened.
I'm reaching out for advice or help from other parents who've gone through this. It is so raw on day 3 that I am looking for life rafts at this point.
please make sure he has a good lawyer.
Though he's guilty. you need to familiarize yourself with the registry and the consequences thereof in your state, because some states are just awful.
This forum is terribly active but hopefully others will come along and help you
The first thing you need to do is make sure he has the best lawyer he and your family can comfortably afford. I know you were looking for emotional support but this is in order to protect him long term. He is looking at prison time most likely and a good lawyer can help shorten his sentence.
Another thing to understand is that just because your son touched a child doesn’t necessarily mean he is a pedophile. In fact most people who have contact crimes are not deemed pedophiles by their treatment providers. Pedophilia is a medical term that is thrown around very flippantly by the media.
One other interesting fact that you may not know if your understanding of sex offenders comes from the media is that the rate of reoffending is actually much lower than what the general public thinks. There is only one crime where the perpetrator reoffends less than sex offenders, and that is murder. The actual rate of reoffending for sex offenders is between 5-15%.
I think you are very smart to circle the wagons so to speak on social media. People won’t understand how you could possibly love your son after what he did. I’m not sure people understand how love works.
Definitely come over to
https://support-for-families.boards.net/
And make an account. There are many more active people there and lots of mothers and wife’s going through exactly what you are going through right now.
I am so sorry you are going through this but we are here for you.
-Independent