Families of SOs Community Group
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Well, I was on probation and was violated for being at my (ex) girlfriend's house, and she didn't want probation to search it, so they told me I should have registered the house, but I was just visiting and informed probation that I was going there prior. I also failed a drug test for opiates for eating some whole grain bread that had them in it, without my knowledge, and failed one for alcohol. I have the 5b, but have never had an alcohol conviction. But my fault, I knew I shouldn't have drank, and did it anyways. The other two violations though were not my fault.
So, the regular judge is pretty fair, but there was a stand in judge day on sentencing and he revoked probation and sentenced me to 2 years. I had time served for original pc 311.11 of a year. So I spent 4 days in jail and was released on parole.
I didn't have any being around children stipulation on probation, but parole does, so they called me today and said I have to leave my parent's house I was staying at, where my brother has 2 kids at. My girlfriend left me because she couldn't take the fact that I'm a sex offender, and my car has to go in the shop for a $600 repair. I'm living in my car, and tonight is the first night. I've been so stressed, that I haven't really eaten and have been struggling to get myself to do so. I found a job, but the hours are 5pm to 1 or 2 am. So, I'm currently sitting in a Denny's charging my gps monitor because I couldn't think of any where else to go.
Life is so hard, and everyday it gets a little worse. I spend most hours thinking about the decisions that put me here, and I hate myself for it. Being registered never leaves my mind for more than 30 seconds, it's all I think about. And as of tomorrow, they might be taking away my Internet access, so this might be the last you see of me for awhile. I want to say thanks for all the information and stories I've read on this forum. Even before any of this happened, I never judged someone by hearing the they were registered, but now I have whole new insight, although, I really wish I didn't.
So, the regular judge is pretty fair, but there was a stand in judge day on sentencing and he revoked probation and sentenced me to 2 years. I had time served for original pc 311.11 of a year. So I spent 4 days in jail and was released on parole.
I didn't have any being around children stipulation on probation, but parole does, so they called me today and said I have to leave my parent's house I was staying at, where my brother has 2 kids at. My girlfriend left me because she couldn't take the fact that I'm a sex offender, and my car has to go in the shop for a $600 repair. I'm living in my car, and tonight is the first night. I've been so stressed, that I haven't really eaten and have been struggling to get myself to do so. I found a job, but the hours are 5pm to 1 or 2 am. So, I'm currently sitting in a Denny's charging my gps monitor because I couldn't think of any where else to go.
Life is so hard, and everyday it gets a little worse. I spend most hours thinking about the decisions that put me here, and I hate myself for it. Being registered never leaves my mind for more than 30 seconds, it's all I think about. And as of tomorrow, they might be taking away my Internet access, so this might be the last you see of me for awhile. I want to say thanks for all the information and stories I've read on this forum. Even before any of this happened, I never judged someone by hearing the they were registered, but now I have whole new insight, although, I really wish I didn't.
2)You have a job (access to food and money and a place to take a shower spend your time doing something productive. You'll need a place to shower and keep yourself and your clothes clean ( if necessary, just go the the good will and buy a whole new set of clothes, take off the old dirty set and wear the new/clean stuff when you leave. That way look presentable and your clothes aren't smelly. (it's amazing but so many people get rejected/ fired because people think they smell or their hair is dirty)
3) You need to keep your job and a night job means you'll be in out of the cold most of the night. If it's a job where you have access to food and a place to wash up, so much the better.
All this sounds like "DUH" of course I know that!." So why say this stuff when your are hurting? Because you are hurting and probably in shock and now is the time to save the "assets" you still have, not let your strength ebb away but build back up. .
Time to look around and learn a new "world" even if you don't intend to stay long.... Maybe get a list of libraries with internet available for 'customers" so you can keep in touch with us all here and google a list of all the shelters, food banks, Alcoholics Anony and sex-aholics meetings/ centers in town and find out about all the other 'services" available (medical clinics for homeless etc) . Then start making the rounds as you are able.
Most of these places I mentioned are open during certain hours and you have mornings when you aren't working to find / resources, go to appointments and just find places that are warm (even waiting rooms and coin laundries are warm, maybe have TV and magazines and newspapers? They get you in out of the weather, some even offer free coffee and someone to talk to who might be able to turn you onto other resources. , there's always the junk food machine assuming you have $ and want to spend it that way.
Hopefully your family can come up with gas money and you can keep your car going until you get money ( and your PO's approval) for a motel room or a residency hotel, you'll survive. Maybe your family can spring for a monthy bus pass if your car quits/ gas costs too much etc. That way you can get where you need to go. I'm not trying to be funny but you start to educate yourself about you new "world." until this "vacation" is over.
It's too easy to say "what-the-hey", and fall into drinking and drugging and panhandling on the streets but that can lead to a life-time. You want this to be just a temporary trip (short education in card-board box living!)
You are too young and too smart too just let yourself go down the drain (or to prison) because of a BS "revocation."
I live in Idaho & my husband is a registered sex offender. I would like to add a couple of suggestions. I don't know where you live but talk to your parole officer, ask for help from him/her. Our officer has access to information on places to live, work, basic help. If you don't get help there, go to the DOC office and ask them for help.
Here in Idaho, I attended a Community Meeting that the DOC held. There are MANY various community business people that have every type of resource available for offenders of all types. Most of all, as difficult as it may be keep a positive attitude.
You will be in my prayers. God Bless You!