Families of SOs Community Group
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Having a hard time deciding what to do. I have no one to talk to since my friends and family do not want to hear it. They just tell me to move on. Not so easy for me.
I am flying back to my hometown to see my daughter graduate from college this week. I had made plans to see her ex-boyfriend in prison. She is aware of this. I figured she has to work so i made plans with his mother to go see him.
I still write him. I still talk to him. I still love and care for him. He is a man who has treated my daughter so good. And yes my daughter has moved on but she is ok i still i have contact with him.
So now i find out she has the day off of work. In addition, one of my old coworkers is retiring that day and having a party. It is my opportunity to see my daughter and my old coworkers.
A part of me wants to enjoy the day with her and see my old coworkers. The other part of me wants to go see him in prison. He is excited to see me. I really want to see him too. He had to make special arrangements to see him because i am not on his visiting list. I was when i lived there, but when i moved across country i gave up my spot.
I know i have to do what is right for me. It is going to make someone unhappy whatever i chose. I am feeling a little angry about this. I shouldnt have to chose. I shouldnt be in this position in the first place. Oh well...such as life. We have to sometimes make difficult decisions. It is called life.
I would appreciate your opinions on this. I think i know what i will do but willing to hear you out. Thanks.
I am flying back to my hometown to see my daughter graduate from college this week. I had made plans to see her ex-boyfriend in prison. She is aware of this. I figured she has to work so i made plans with his mother to go see him.
I still write him. I still talk to him. I still love and care for him. He is a man who has treated my daughter so good. And yes my daughter has moved on but she is ok i still i have contact with him.
So now i find out she has the day off of work. In addition, one of my old coworkers is retiring that day and having a party. It is my opportunity to see my daughter and my old coworkers.
A part of me wants to enjoy the day with her and see my old coworkers. The other part of me wants to go see him in prison. He is excited to see me. I really want to see him too. He had to make special arrangements to see him because i am not on his visiting list. I was when i lived there, but when i moved across country i gave up my spot.
I know i have to do what is right for me. It is going to make someone unhappy whatever i chose. I am feeling a little angry about this. I shouldnt have to chose. I shouldnt be in this position in the first place. Oh well...such as life. We have to sometimes make difficult decisions. It is called life.
I would appreciate your opinions on this. I think i know what i will do but willing to hear you out. Thanks.
I know it's hard when you have a conflict and have to choose. I've had to make some sacrifices this year, and not able to visit the full weekend like I normally do, due to conflicts. But I also have the ability to still see him at least one day. If you were close to home, it wouldn't be an issue as you could always reschedule...hope you are able to find some compromise where you can do allow the above.
I am with @layinglow's advice 100%.
I would try to make it to the prison when it opens... get in my visit then go to the shindig with the daughter and old co-workers.
So with her blessing....i am going
Had a good talk with my daughter also. She still talks to him even though she has moved on. Her current boyfriend is uncomfortable with her still talking to him. Totally understandable. She told me she wants to keep her ex as a friend but feels torn because she has a new boyfriend.
We both discussed the fact that everyone tells us both to move on. We both have feelings and care. We both have compassion. She has taught me this. Imagine that....my daughter teaching me something!
She is ok with me still writing, talking, and visiting him. And i am too. We do not need permission from anyone else.
Thanks for all your responses. Happy holidays!