My grandmother used to tell me "sometimes you have to act normal until it is"....that has never been more true than in my journey through this. Unfortunately you will start to feel comfortable and it will happen again and possibly yet again. The media will pick it up when he is convicted or pleads guilty and then again when he is sentenced. But you are right, you need to remember that you did nothing wrong and whatever his situation is, it is in the past. If you are standing by him or not, then don't let anyone tell you that it's the wrong choice, only YOU can make that choice.

I've lost people that I thought were friends and I've had fairly new people in my life that have been tremendous pillars of support. It's ok to lean on those people that are there for you and just plain let go of the others. Your life, your choice...period.

I live in a small community, so we just went through sentencing earlier this month.....hit all the news media....paper, radio, tv and even internet groups for town, county and tourist area (really?) The next day at work people would say "how are you?" and I was reading into it that they knew and I finally decided "who cares what they think? They only know half the story anyway".....so I didn't act any differently and I don't know if it's just my attitude or if they are questioning whether it's really him, but I'm getting through it and moving on....not that it's easy for either of us...in different ways.

You can do this....most of us here have to some level or another and you can too!!

When my son was arrested I began suffering from PTSD. It sounds like that's what you are experiencing.
The police came to our home to arrest him. After that every time the doorbell rang I completely freaked out. I found a counselor who is trained in PTSD and that has helped me tremendously.

I love the advice that Sam66's grandma gave her.

We are only 3.5 months post conviction and it seems everyday is a roller coaster. But I will say that things have calmed down significantly. I wish the same for you.

Thank you for the feedback. I completely agree on the roller coaster. And I don't think anyone who has had to go through this walks away without some sort of PTSD. We have our good/bad days. It's hard to be home as we can see how it's affected certain people, where as others don't care. We've had neighbors that have known us a very long time basically say that if he comes home, they have no problem with it. I think some people are just so blind with fear and anger that they don' think to see a difference between pedophiles and sex offenders. In my opinion, Most sex offenders are just that, one who offends on a sexual nature. Does not mean they hurt, molest, rape, or are even sexually attracted to children. But people do not want to listen. They just want "justice".

What burns me in our situation, recently I was trolling through our local PD's facebook page. Our family member was arrested just a month shy after another person in our town. This other person was never made public. No news/media circus about his charges, arrest, or arraignment. He skated on by, barely unnoticed. AND this guy had more charges! It blows my mind! The media circus that surrounded us came from no where. Our lawyer didn't understand how this got out so fast, less than 24 hours from the arrest. The media knew things they shouldn't, had interviews and all sorts of articles. It was just awful. I know not EVERYONE knows, but enough people do in my town that it has impacted us significantly.

Like I said though, we do have good/bad days. And I know that once he's sentenced, the media will have another field day. I wish people could understand that all this media and registry business does so much more harm than good. They have no idea the impact all this has on the family.

Families, in my opinion, are usually blind sided by the charges. It impacts friends, coworkers, neighbors. So much goes in to all that is exposed. I'm thankful I do not have children. This has forever changed our lives. His life is forever changed in ways we don't believe he grasped when this all happened. He in ways is sheltered in jail. We try to not bring up a lot of this when we see him. Focus on positive things. However, waiting for his sentencing is just awful. This page, all the amazing people on it, are truly a God send.

Thank you for your feedback. It's always appreciated.

Ahhh the media. Our solicitor said she takes on around 4 cases a week similar t my husbands. Very few are published but oh my husband was made an example of. They never thought of our children, the family, our children's friends, they just wanted a story. Even now they still call and he has served his time. I feel your anger towards it all.

Thanks Sally. It's just so infuriating when people lack compassion and understanding. You would think one would want to be informed before making rash and uninformed opinions, especially such damaging ones. However, some choose to see it very black and white, and put too much faith into LE, media, and society. Wish people would think for themselves.

And I had to vent as I just needed to. Tonight I was outside with the dog, and it is dark in my neighborhood even with some street lights. As we started moving around, I could see people walking down the street towards us with flashlights. Granted it was early, but it is cold and dark. Made me really uneasy. We have a few houses in my neighborhood for sale. Even though the housing market isn't great, if you considering all the news on our house and what happened, it makes me question who moves in. Let alone those walking in the dark and cold.

This whole scenario is far from over, but I just wish I could stop worrying over stupid things. I shouldn't have to worry about people walking in the neighborhood or who moves in. We have done NOTHING wrong, and should NOT be punished for merely being family. Cars driving by or car doors closing is another big issue for me. Sometimes I can ignore it and it becomes background noise, like it always has been. But days like today when I borderline, it's that much harder. Fighting anxiety with all I have today.

Tomorrow is a new day.