Missing, there aren't many words that will make you feel better, but all I can say is that you are not alone, many of us feel and have felt that emptiness during the holidays. It is not easy and we have felt your heartache. The time my son was in prison during the holidays was so hard for my husband and I, especially with the rest of the family here and us trying to be upbeat. One time I made a sectional sign with a separate piece to be held by my son's brother, his wife, my husband and I that said "We love you Aaron" and we took a photo of it and I mailed it to my son. I was afraid it would make him sad but he loved it. In my Christmas card, I included funny Santa jokes and funny Christmas pictures on my letter. Other family members sent him similar stuff. One of my best suggestions is to stay busy as you can over the next few days - don't sit idle and let this worry you. I know it doesn't sound easy, but it saved me, so it is only from my experience. I cleaned drawers, closets, the corners and cobwebs lol, and other things. I found the busier I kept myself, the less time I had to worry. My dear mother, rest her soul, told me years ago when things get overwhelming to remember that "this too will pass" - and it will...it takes time, and the sad days will gradually not be so sad. I am sorry for rambling, but I know your frustration and it is hard to send a hug long distance - just hang in there Mom - and bless you from another mom.

Missing, you are definitely not alone in how you feel! This is the first holidays that I am spending without my husband and best friend. I feel so alone when I go shopping or even for the family get togethers. Everyone else has that person to confide in and enjoy the moment with. Even though I know every person in the family is missing their brother, son, uncle, stepdad, son-in-law, I just feel so empty and alone. I finally got the gifts wrapped and made a few christmas candies tonight. I am going to try my hardest to enjoy what I can of the holidays. I have some special little people (nephews and nieces) that are a ray of sunshine in this awful situation, so I will try to live through them for the next few years.

missing,
somom gave you the best advice. Exactly what I would have said also. I have made fighting for reform a part of my every day life. It was my way of jumping in to the pain and loss of my son. Through the efforts of this great team of people I work with here in Indiana, we have managed to help so many people. It's our way of helping those who need help, when we can't help our loved ones. I just pray for my members, that some day their good works will come back to bless them and their families as well.
One thing I have learned in the past 7 years.....it's not about ME. I hurt so deeply inside when I think about my son and his future that appears to be rotting away....... but there are literally hundreds of thousands of people in the same boat. And, unfortunately, that many more if we all don't step up and speak out.
I know that speaking out for some people isn't easy and some chose not to, but get involved behind the scenes to make a difference. There are multitudes of things we all can be doing to help reform these laws. If we don't fight for our loved ones, no one else will!
I know you hurt, we all are hurting. I pray for all of you as well as my son. Together, we can all make a difference.
Keep your eyes looking up! Know that you have people here that care and understand.
My prayers and hugs are with you!

This will be the first Chiristmas without my children. My eldest son was taken into custody(14) and my smaller children were sent with thier DAD til this figures out. My son has court on the 28th. It seems( trying not to get my hopes up) that because of his disabilities he will go to treatment. He has Asbergers. I feel the same way, I don't want to be around anyone, my Dad is pushing me to come to his house. I really don't feel like it.

Missing and Mom - don't deny yourself any pleasures you might get from the holidays or being with other family members. You are cheating them out of being with you. I know that might not sound easy but you just have to force yourself to do things you don't want to do. My son had a wise counselor once who told him, "why worry yourself to death and make yourself miserable this very day about something you can't fix this very day?" Take a day at a time. I so agree with RWSmom about getting involved. Start researching and studying. Get involved actively with the groups and wonderful people here and other organizations to make changes. Write to your legislators, the media, and have family and friends write also, let your voice be heard. I keep busy by reading every article, law, and information I can find on the subject - and write letters and make contacts. Somedays I don't feel like lifting my pen or turning on my puter, it is overwhelming sometimes, but if we aren't heard, they don't know!!! Despite it all, try your best to stay busy. Think about yourself and your other family members during the holidays, don't let this eat you up or you won't feel strong enough to move forward. I have given up so many times and let it overwhelm me then I get angry and start again. It can't be fixed right this minute, but it will be fixed if we keep moving forward.

Great advice somom!
I too can say I found myself on the floor in the storage closet of our home crying. Why? No reason other than I had just gone in there for a toothbrush, started to clean and rearrange it, but came across the kids' stocking stuffers and just got so sad. I sat on the stepstool and just cried, and questioned the why does it have to be this way and the "YOU should be here thoughts" i was screaming out to my husband across the wind.
So I keep busy, keep baking, keep cleaning, and keep plugging away. I am bound and determined to have Christmas with my babies not be ruined by this mess.

Missing: Take heart you are not alone, there are many people here for support, maybe bake goodies for a local nursing home? Visit the lonely residents there? Visit with neighbors, friends and other family, and try to find the one thing you can enjoy this season.

May you all be blessed this season!