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I don't post often, but I do read all the posts on here as time allows. At times it is difficult because I feel so much of your pain.
Today, I am in pain. My granddaughter who will be turning 4 in a few weeks was abducted on Tuesday. I might be to blame.
She has been abducted by her mother who has been with our son for the past 7 years. They are engaged, not legally married although she uses our last name.
Last month in order to "help" our son (and his family) we loaned him money for real estate. He titled it in his name only, as we advised. Apparently, this may have cause resentment, as they had a fight over the issue after that. My husband and I have basically helped to support them for the past 7 years due to our son being listed on the registry and his job situation. When he was working, he bought her a Porsche SUV. She doesn't work unless you consider the following.
She joined on as a Beach Body coach, and he resented the time and money expended on the products, the body image, nails, tanning, and the 750.00 a month phone bill. She called me and complained. I really never bonded with her due to distance and age and they live 10 hours away. Yes, they come to visit a couple of times a year.
I wanted to bond with her, give her a break and I wanted to see my Granddaughter so...I offered her a vacation and she seemed happy and excited. I booked their flights and started planning the activities. They arrived May 4th. We went out to dinner to celebrate their arrival, we went to the Zoo, the movies, lunches out, dinners out, had planned a small cruise, had a slumber party with her 6 yr. old cousin and they spent the day at Chuck E Cheese. Went to a wonderful Mother's Day brunch with face painting, balloons etc. then headed to the Wild Animal Park and of course all the gifts. My house was destroyed and I didn't care. I just wanted this to be something to remember.
However, I do need to admit, by the 6th day, and after having back surgery, I was so exhausted that every bone in my body ached and my granddaughter never ever napped. Mom let her stay up til 10, and she awoke at 6 every morning. I was looking forward to their departure.
In my experience, a daughter-in-law is someone that I must tiptoe around. So, admitting their were times I bit my lip and practiced self talk, "Let it go, don't say a word, as she spent most of her time on Facebook and texting while my husband and I ran around, played, read etc. It did get irritating when I would find full cups of coffee sitting on the new carpet and not ever to lift a finger to help.
It was the morning of departure. We had to leave for the airport soon. Apparently, she called our son and he was angry over finding a 1,500 phone bill. So, she came to me and stated that she didn't want to go home.
I was in shock, and asked her "What happened, what's going on???
She started to cry and I said "If you were unhappy, why now? why didn't you mention anything this whole week?
In the car on the way to the airport she kept telling my husband and I that unless we did something she was going to call the sheriff and tell them that he was a "sex offender" and he would never see his daughter again.
After several threats, we turned and calmly said, "It feels like you are making threats against us, that unless we do what you want, you are going to teach us a lesson. I thought things had calmed down, I offered to let our granddaughter stay with us until she and our son could work things out but she refused and we arrived at the airport. I walked them to the luggage check in, when all of a sudden she grabbed my granddaughter and bailed. I was begging as I ran after them saying, p-l-e-a-se- don't do this and she disappeared. We really thought it was a bluff and she would be on that plane, but they never arrived.
My son is beside himself, we are devastated. Can't sleep, can't eat. My son refused to let me call the police, Since his arrest in 2004, he will not trust them and feels he has no recourse. I hate that! Because you're a registrant you have no recourse! I tried to explain that he still has rights!
Eventually, we found out that older friends of the family picked them up at the airport and they told her that she couldn't stay with them but they would make arraignment for her to go to a SAFE HOUSE. Our son has never been abusive just mad. He claims that facebook has become an addiction and that nothing ever gets done.
(My son had previously said he was excited for them to come, but she had spent too much money for the trip on spray tanning, fake nails, makeup, clothes and then a photo shoot.
They have no money and when they can't pay the rent, she calls me!) and earlier they had to sell her car.
All I know is that if a man had done this, he'd be in jail. This is so unfair that a women can use the registry to threaten and get away with this. I am beside myself right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry for this awful and long post!
Today, I am in pain. My granddaughter who will be turning 4 in a few weeks was abducted on Tuesday. I might be to blame.
She has been abducted by her mother who has been with our son for the past 7 years. They are engaged, not legally married although she uses our last name.
Last month in order to "help" our son (and his family) we loaned him money for real estate. He titled it in his name only, as we advised. Apparently, this may have cause resentment, as they had a fight over the issue after that. My husband and I have basically helped to support them for the past 7 years due to our son being listed on the registry and his job situation. When he was working, he bought her a Porsche SUV. She doesn't work unless you consider the following.
She joined on as a Beach Body coach, and he resented the time and money expended on the products, the body image, nails, tanning, and the 750.00 a month phone bill. She called me and complained. I really never bonded with her due to distance and age and they live 10 hours away. Yes, they come to visit a couple of times a year.
I wanted to bond with her, give her a break and I wanted to see my Granddaughter so...I offered her a vacation and she seemed happy and excited. I booked their flights and started planning the activities. They arrived May 4th. We went out to dinner to celebrate their arrival, we went to the Zoo, the movies, lunches out, dinners out, had planned a small cruise, had a slumber party with her 6 yr. old cousin and they spent the day at Chuck E Cheese. Went to a wonderful Mother's Day brunch with face painting, balloons etc. then headed to the Wild Animal Park and of course all the gifts. My house was destroyed and I didn't care. I just wanted this to be something to remember.
However, I do need to admit, by the 6th day, and after having back surgery, I was so exhausted that every bone in my body ached and my granddaughter never ever napped. Mom let her stay up til 10, and she awoke at 6 every morning. I was looking forward to their departure.
In my experience, a daughter-in-law is someone that I must tiptoe around. So, admitting their were times I bit my lip and practiced self talk, "Let it go, don't say a word, as she spent most of her time on Facebook and texting while my husband and I ran around, played, read etc. It did get irritating when I would find full cups of coffee sitting on the new carpet and not ever to lift a finger to help.
It was the morning of departure. We had to leave for the airport soon. Apparently, she called our son and he was angry over finding a 1,500 phone bill. So, she came to me and stated that she didn't want to go home.
I was in shock, and asked her "What happened, what's going on???
She started to cry and I said "If you were unhappy, why now? why didn't you mention anything this whole week?
In the car on the way to the airport she kept telling my husband and I that unless we did something she was going to call the sheriff and tell them that he was a "sex offender" and he would never see his daughter again.
After several threats, we turned and calmly said, "It feels like you are making threats against us, that unless we do what you want, you are going to teach us a lesson. I thought things had calmed down, I offered to let our granddaughter stay with us until she and our son could work things out but she refused and we arrived at the airport. I walked them to the luggage check in, when all of a sudden she grabbed my granddaughter and bailed. I was begging as I ran after them saying, p-l-e-a-se- don't do this and she disappeared. We really thought it was a bluff and she would be on that plane, but they never arrived.
My son is beside himself, we are devastated. Can't sleep, can't eat. My son refused to let me call the police, Since his arrest in 2004, he will not trust them and feels he has no recourse. I hate that! Because you're a registrant you have no recourse! I tried to explain that he still has rights!
Eventually, we found out that older friends of the family picked them up at the airport and they told her that she couldn't stay with them but they would make arraignment for her to go to a SAFE HOUSE. Our son has never been abusive just mad. He claims that facebook has become an addiction and that nothing ever gets done.
(My son had previously said he was excited for them to come, but she had spent too much money for the trip on spray tanning, fake nails, makeup, clothes and then a photo shoot.
They have no money and when they can't pay the rent, she calls me!) and earlier they had to sell her car.
All I know is that if a man had done this, he'd be in jail. This is so unfair that a women can use the registry to threaten and get away with this. I am beside myself right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry for this awful and long post!
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