Families of SOs Community Group

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lufin23 05/03/2016

I am new to this group and have finally decided to ask advice for something that has been weighing on my mind. The past few months have been extremely rocky emotionally. My father's trial is set to start on my child's birthday, which is just adding more pain to the situation.

My question is this: Does anyone here have advice or experience with character letters? The public defender has asked that I, along with other family members and friends, write two character letters. One to the prosecutor and one to the judge. The PD would like us to tailor the letters to the recipient. The letter to the prosecutor is discussing the kind of person my father is and reasons why he is a benefit to society, while also discussing my experience with his mental illness. The letter to the judge is more about my father as a person, however basically the same information.

I have been avoiding this letter writing for months. I don't even know where to start. I stare at the computer screen and just want to cry.

nsiclkeba 05/03/2016

I had to do this for my Husband and I just started jotting down little things when I would think of them till I finally had enough to write a letter. Now granted, I think the world of my Husband so it wasn't so hard for me and I also had to speak in front of the judge. I don't know your relationship with your father which might be what is making it harder. My advise is don't feel like you have to write it all at once. A little at a time and then at the end you can edit it and make it more cohesive. I hope this helps.

lufin23 05/03/2016

Thank you! I love my dad dearly. It's easy to think about all the good things I would write. Just the thought of why the letter needs to be written in the first place gets me hung up. That's a good idea,to jot down little things as they come to mind and not rush through the process. Thank you again.

LegalGuardian 05/03/2016

I would be very, very careful discussing the subject of your father's mental illness, as it may well backfire on him and pave the way for the prosecutor to use it against him and for any future civil commitment hearing if that were pursued against your father later.

chickabee31 05/04/2016

https://www.legalaid.vic.gov.au/find-legal-answers/going-to-court-for-criminal-charge/writing-character-reference

I found this resource very helpful when writing a reference for my boyfriend. You may find it healing to write it out as I did. :-)

kathismom2011 05/04/2016

I had character letters for my husband. It did him no good at all. His PD didn't even want to take them. Good luck with your letter writing. At least you're dad's PD wants them.

nsiclkeba 05/04/2016

My husband's many character letters and many who spoke at his sentencing is what did wonders for him. He got a very light sentence because the judge felt he had a great support system and people who loved him and would look after him. So, don't let that make you nervous but make it count. We had around 30 character letters and 7 people speak along with the entire court room filled with his supporters. It all helped a ton. You never know what will help. Some judges care and other don't. We got a good, compassionate judge.

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