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sparkyman 01/22/2013

Its been 7 days now since my arrest for something to do with failure to register, we just dont know at this point what the problem is, they were so vague on the arrest warrant. Its been 7 days with no food and no appetite, very little sleep. Im not sure how much more I can last like this, too much fear, too much panic, too many unanswered questions. Have PTSD sine my arrest in 1998. and since my arrest last week, it is a mirror, the exact same feelings i am feeling now, but, this time even worse. I do have an attorney who already put a not guilty plea in and request for discovery. Who knows how long that will take to get. So everyday I wait, no food, lack of sleep, and fear. After 5 heart attacks, I dont know if my heart will hold up this time. I am kind of hoping that I do have another heart attack, so I wont fight now to stay alive. Im sorry everyone to keep posting, but I have no where to turn. PLEASE FORGIVE ME if I am posting too much

Peekachu 01/22/2013

Hi, Sparkyman, I know about PTSD. A number of years ago, I was assaulted and mobbed at work and then blamed for it. (!!) I ended up with panic attacks. Still have the nightmares and am going back to treatment---again---to deal with that on top of the serious issues my husband has with being an S.O.

People don't realize how sensitive your system gets when you've suffered such a severe shock. It affects every aspect of your life, including your physical health. Hopefully, this won't drag out too long, but you never know. In the meantime, you need to take care of you.

There's CD that I've found helpful by a lady named Belleruth Naparstek, www.healthjourneys.com. She does guided imagery. There's one called "Healing Trauma" that is especially good. I find it good for getting out of the panic mode. Maybe this could help you....cheaper than psychotherapy anyway.

Best wishes,
Peek

FaithFlower 01/22/2013

Please Sparkyman take care of yourself. You being upset is like letting them win, even if you end up ok in the end of all this. Find something to take your mind off of all this. Find a good book to read. Start a project. Try and not let it get to you. Praying for you to find some peace.

deleted_user 01/23/2013

Sparkyman ,Man I pray you hang in there ! Post as much as you need too ..I know the waiting is hard on this trouble your going thru ,hopefully there s someway you can get your mind off this crap! You have alot goin for you "Your wife" and support !

sparkyman 01/23/2013

Bagger, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! Oneofthem, I have actually considered that, your always a pleasure to hear from on here, failthflower, your right, I know, but as soon as I know something solid, I cant eat or sleep, Peekachu, Im looking that up now, thank you

mtlc 01/23/2013

I tend to agree with Oneofthem. It will help with the sleep issues and the appetite. Don't even worry about posting too much....sometimes just talking (typing) helps a bit, and that is why we are here. Hang in there. People care.

jackiecook 01/23/2013

good luck sparky, keep us updated. cant say i know where you are right now and i know it can be hard to convince yourself that things will be ok, but sometimes if you can fool yourself into thinking that things will work out, at least you can have a moments peace. i try to reach out and help others, make a difference in someone else s life is a way to get away from my problems. dont worry about posting too much, this board is all about getting us through these rough times. you have done nothing wrong and dont forget it. careful with the marijuana, it can create an active imagination and it sounds like that is half your problem already.

amynmesa 01/24/2013

Keep us updated Sparky..wishing you and your wife the best..

PhillipofTexas 01/24/2013

Hang in there Sparkyman. It's clear your a fighter, after surviving 5 heart attacks you can't be anything else. Yes, PTS is hard to deal with. I find it helps to say to yourself "Enough, stop it", every time the negative thoughts take over. Believe me there are people who care what happens to you! You are in my prayers.

christad5 01/24/2013

Sparkyman: I am with bagger7, post as much and as often as you need, that is what we are here for. I will be praying for some peace for you.

sparkyman 01/24/2013

Thank you so much everyone, I was just released from the hospital tonight after my chest starting hurting a couple of days ago, I had like zero potassium in me and overly stressed, but luckily the blood work came back ok. Im home now, and again I am afraid of a knock at the door, so my son is driving over to stay with ,me tonight. I used to be happy to come home from the hospital, but now its more fear I think. Will try and sleep some and just want to say I love each and everyone one of you.
Thank you

ibeenthere2 01/25/2013

sparkyman, I don't think I would take oneofthem's advice about the Marijuana right now... If the police decided to test your blood (for whatever reason), you don't want that in your system. Unless you are in one of the states where it is legal... JMO

sparkyman 01/25/2013

I cant use marijuana because of my heart problems, I have never tried it before, they gave me a medicine in the hospital to try and make me eat, hopefully that works

sparkyman 01/25/2013

very true my friend, I do have a weird question, if someone has severe PTSD and its proven, and this registry makes it even worse, is it possible to be removed from the registry? I know the answer is probably no, but I have to ask

deleted_user 01/25/2013

I will say a prayer for you. They enjoy messing with people. Hold your head high and try to find comfort in knowing you have people pulling for you. Wishing the best for you and your wife.

STAY STRONG
KEEP THE FAITH
PRAY OFTEN

sadsong44 01/25/2013

My husband has severe PTSD from the war and that is why they put him on the registry. They call it a mental illness in this state so you score higher. Everyone is afraid of any mental illness even though he was severely wounded fighting for our country. Good luck and keep trying.

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