You are not alone. Sadly there are other mamas who have walked this road. My son is also 19--a year ago my daughter disclosed that he had touched her sexually when he thought she was asleep, several times when he was about 12-13 years old and she was 10 or so.. There were also concerns about his online habits. He never had to go to jail but it was a possibility and I thought the same thing as you, no way did he have the skills to survive there. Finding out your son did something like this, and especially having him incarcerated, really is a loss and a type of death--the death of who you thought he was and the life you thought he'd have. You are not crazy, you are reacting in a very human way to an absolutely awful and unexpected thing. My son was also always a good kid, very sweet, good with kids, and I felt like I had failed him (not to mention his sister) too.

Just wondering a couple of practical questions--does he have a lawyer yet? Do you have any way to contact him in the jail--phone account, can you visit, letters? What kind of support do you have from your family and friends? How are they reacting?

There are some people on this board and I will check back here. There is another more active board where a lot of people who used to come here moved: support-for-families.boards.net You will meet many moms and partners who have walked the road you find yourself on and are surviving and supporting their sons, and even some men who have been through it and are moving on with life. Lots of emotional support, and advice on all sorts of practical things. Your in-person support will be very important but what we can offer is a way to connect with people who have really been there.

I wish I could give you a real hug but this will have to do. ((HUG))

As an ex life term sex offender, who is diagnosed with pedophilia, and a momma's boy, I can understand what you are going thru. I started using CP around the same age as your son. It is a heavy addiction that is difficult to manage and sadly does frequently lead to incarceration. But: it's not your fault, he's not screwed up on anything like that, and certainly not evil. All Sex Offenders have a struggle with aberrant desire. I am on parole, and I struggle too with my issues. Myself, I have no desire to be near children, but I get triggered by nude kids. Sadly, that is counterproductive. Have you heard of VirPed? Checkout VirPed.org and get him into a support group when he gets out that can help specifically pedophilia. Its not a dirty word. Escalation containment is the key, something I wish I had done before I acted... best blessings.

He will survive. It’s not like people tell you. He will be put in the area of other so’s and if he can stick to himself, read a lot and get a job, he will do fine. Respect is the most important thing on the inside. Don’t ask questions and he shouldn’t answer any. Take care mama, it’s today’s media that is doing this to so many young men. Take care of yourself first, he will make it through. Have faith and pray.

I'm on your journey with you and if you ever need to talk, please message me my son is youngest well in the things they charged him with, the language just got stronger than it used to be. I'm worried for him and worried for suicide. I don't think he will get out first parole when I will be almost 70. Let's hold each other ip6

Same here. My son possessed and distributed 1000s off images and videos.
I feel you. At least it helps to thing in not alone