I am the wife of a SO and I have seven children to a previous marriage age ranging from 19yrs to 10yrs.  I lost custody three years ago due to mental health problems and the magnitude of seven children with a single mother.  I have known my SO husband for 10yrs and while I had the children in my care we knew it would not be possible to have a romantic relationship as my ex (the children's father) is dead against my now husband and with the internet, his conviction is on there for the world to see.  so for the last 18 months, I have been fighting the father for more access, I didn't want them back as seven is a lot to deal with, but the father was only giving me two hours a week access and I wanted more time and also to have my husband present when I see the children.  

It didn't go as planned.  I was not a stupid girl, I had my husband receive a full pshychological evaluation from a psych that was a specialist in this field, and he determined my husband was of NO RISK to my children.  So then I asked my now husband to marry me and proceeded with the court case.  Unfortunately we were on legal aid, we had a shit lawyer, who employed a shit barrister.  My ex did not even have a legal team.  Family Services got involved in the case and interviewed me and my husband for 20 mins and determined not only that my husband was not trustworthy, but also that my mental health was not of sound mind because I married him and supposedly I don't see the risk to my children.  We had a Family Assessment done also, and she spent an hour with each of us and pretty much determined the same thing.  The report in favour of us, was never considered in court and even though we gave the reports to Family Services, it fell on deaf ears.  

Now I have all these restrictions on me, I can't see them by themselves, like one on one until they reach 16yrs,  I have to have an older child, (over 16yrs) present when I see the little ones.  I can't bring them back to my house until they are over 16yrs.  I can't get school reports, or go to school events, or receive school notices for any school which my children attend.  I have to pick them up from his house and drop them off.  Of course they are not allowed any where near my husband in person or on social media until they reach 16yrs.  I am not allowed to give them a mobile phone until they reach 16yrs, (but then supposedly I am to pay for the credit).  

I allowed myself to be positive when we received the psych report to say my husband was fine to be around the children.  I allowed myself to dream that we could be a family on weekeds and stuff.  But no, now I have more restrictions than before I started the case.  I wanted to change my lawyer and barrister but legal aid woulnd't allow it as it meant doubling up on time to catch up on the case for the new lawyer / barrister.  

I just don't see how these new orders will work.  I have three children over 16yrs, but the 16yr old and the 19yr old work on weekends and my 18yr old is contemplating joining the army, so if he goes I can't see the orders working as basic training is in a different state and so is the place where they will send him to further his education.  

I have now lost all parental rights and it would seem I was just the incubator for my previous husband to be a father, funny thing is he didn't want to know them when they were little, he wouldn't even give the new baby a bottle if I was out, he would have one of the other kids do it, but now they have grown and can look after themselves he thinks that he is father of the year and I am just scum.

I will probably now move interstate if my 18yr old goes into the army, he is usually the one who comes out with the younger ones but even then, the older kids, whoever comes, get bored after a few hours and they want to go home. Which means everyone has to go home.

I love my new husband SO with all my heart, but it has come with a price, sometimes I feel I am a terrible mother and maybe I should not have put my own happiness first, but I would never have full custody of my kids again and I knew that with my mental health.  

Unfortunately the legal system here in Adelaide Australia, is a wrought.  Legal Aid don't give much funding, they say they do but they don't, they tell you to wrap it up and thats it, I had no choice, I had no more funds to fight, so I had to settle, for practically nothing.