You need to do what is best for you and your child. I stayed with my now husband but when he was arrested he was my boyfriend of a little over a year. We do not have children and don't know if we want any so I can not relate to that. You will lose friends and even some family over this. It is a hard decision that only you can make for you. I would be more concerned with the fact that he never told you even after you guys had a child together. Not that he is labeled a SO.

Its a difficult situation I wont lie. My husband was arrested last year and will register indefinitely. We have 2 young children and social work is on our backs a lot. Currently he cant live with us which is so difficult, I have to travel with our kids to visit him, we rarely get time alone but no matter how hard it is its worth it. I love him. I've lost a few friends, family members over it all but "those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter". He is my husband, a father not just a sex offender.

You do what feels right, you are allowed to change your mind. Do what's best for you and your little one.

Why did they take him away? If he wasn't on probation or parole, there isn't a law against him residing at home with a biological child under 18.

As far as staying with your BF, if you feel like he isn't a threat to her and he has turned his life around, there is no reason why you should leave if you don't want to. Family and friends may all tell you to leave, only because they don't understand and believe the myth that all sex offenders reoffend.

This isn't an easy life, so I want you to know what you are getting yourself into if choose to stay in the relationship.

Sorry you are here, but glad you found us.

They took him away because he never notified his Visor that I was pregnant :/ we can't live together either so I am house hopping between my parents. I told my mum last night I intend to stay with him because since I have known him I can honestly say I can't see him offending again. My mum wasn't happy and was trying to get me to change my mind but I told her I would leave him ONLY if after all our risk assessments are done and social services say if I stay with him I will lose our little girl then I would leave him... this is just a horrible situation but I am glad I have found this group

Was your boyfriend's crime against a minor?

His Visor? is he on probation/supervision for some other crime other than the sex offense? Cause even if it some other infraction they will impose the sex offender rules on people with those convictions in their past.

Hang in there...

It was a 7 year old girl... then he was caught with naked pictured of children.... he is on the SOR till 2019 and had his SOPA end in January. He has to inform his Visor of any big changes, so like change of address, partners, children etc

Hopefully it will be a caution from VISOR/MAPPA if this is the first time he hasn't notified them of changes but expect a thorough grilling from social services. They will want to make sure you know every little detail about his offence and find out if you are a protective factor. What level of risk of reoffending is he classed as? If the victims of his offence fit a similar profile to your daughter its going to take a lot to prove to social services he is no risk. We are currently fighting them to let my husband live with us again.

When he moved to the different county he was classed as medium risk that was 2012. He is going on a rehabilitation course and I am going to be assessed to see if I can be the person who supervises him. We are obviously not living together but Social Services believe he isn't a risk to our daughter but we need to complete all their assessments. How long has your husband not been able to live with you?

SilentStark: And what do they do to you if 'you don't supervise him to their satisfaction?Fire you as his warden? Take your child away because you 'colluded' with him? Helped him circumvent their rules? "Supervising" your boyfriend on their behalf sounds like NOT your job to me no matter what 'carrot" they offer to get you to carry a stick. . Which side to you decide to play on when the chips are down and what does that mean for your relationship and for your retaining custody of your child? Will you be legally charged if you 'fail"

At the very least before you agree to be "their person" supervising your family member for them...well I'd have an attorney look at this on your behalf and get all these promises and consequences for failure in writing. Supervision and 'tracking' etc. is their job (they actually get paid pretty good to do that) So, what happens to you if you are supervising and he breaks the rules on a technicality? Are you going to report that and get him revoked and sent to prison on your testimony?

If I left him with unsupervised access to our child then we will lose her... I'm not sure about anything else because they haven't discussed it with me

My husband has just started his rehab, took 6 months after his release to start it. He was asked to leave in June voluntarily then the legal order cane into effect the following month. I supervise my husband, it means if you need to go to the bathroom he must not be in the room with your child, he has to step out the room. If you have been supervising him this long they should hopefully prefer it to be you rather than a contact centre. Contact centres can only allow 2 hours at a time, social work watch through a 2 way mirror. They don't like doing it as it "wastes their time". If you aren't suitable they may recommend the childs grandparents, aunties or uncles supervise with you. Its not ideal but it would only be short term.

Its a horrible situation, I totally empathise with you. Do you have legal help?

Janetmackie: this is the way UK children's services operate. My husband isn't allowed to live with us at the moment (CP offences), and is only allowed to visit us under a strict 'safety plan' which involves me supervising him constantly. If we break it (basically if the children mention having alone time with dad), the consequence is me potentially losing custody. They are not currently deemed 'at risk', but if we break the safety plan, children's services will rapidly escalate their status to at risk.

SilentStark: my advice is comply totally with children's services. They want to hear that you understand the potential risk your bf poses, and that you will prioritise the safety of your baby over him.

I know Sal... I know that I would have to take her everywhere with me. Thank you for the advice Phoenix, they are currently doing their assessments... I am hoping it will go a little quicker as due to my job I took a course in the three types of abuse and looking for signs of it