Families of SOs Community Group
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Hello Everyone!
My name is Jim, and my wife & I have a son who has been incarcerated for 3yrs, serving a 15-yr sentence for 1 count of possession of CP on his personal computer. He now is in MS, approx. 9hrs away (1-way) from us. Although he was convicted in GA, and here in FL they ave plenty of facillities, but the courts and the BOP have "conveniently" located him over a days' drive away, even though one of the tenets of incarceration is to keep., "close family contact to ease the time away, and further rehabilitation when the prisoner is released..". I'm not here to debate the inequity of both current prisoners, and releashed SO's.
The whole "SO's for Life" is such a damming label, no wonder many just "give up" and go back to prison.
My thought is: Is there anyway that all of us friends, families, convicts can come together and start an organization that does NOTHING except support, train, educate, rehabilitate, provide jobs and a hope for the future for these men & women caught up in these circumstances?
With the ranks of SO's growing at an exponential rate, and all the hardships they encounter or will encounter throughout the rest of their lives, this will touch so many people's lives: You won't be able to speak with anyone who dosn't know of a family member or friend that has been stuck with this label.
Like many of you, upon my son's arrest and subsequent trial and incarceration, was the first time in our lives that had seen this side of the law. Granted, I too, had thought for so many yrs. and subscribed to the "lock them up, and throw away the key" mentality. I had in my mind mind that all SO's were they rapists, the producers and distributors of CP. Wow..didn't we all become experts quickly on how the courts systems and laws paint a wide swath that includes the worse of the worse to someone who "viewed it online".
I'm sorry this is so long, and I will try to sum up here: My point is--with a Nationwide system that everyone contributes something, collectively we could amass millions & millions of dollars to begin a true rehab and re-training of these human beings that soceity wants to throw away, and make every day life so miserable for them, even after the sentences have been completed. I had dreamed of this idea, whereas a person could not join this organization without having been convicted. I had envisioned thousands of individuals that have came together in a united cause. This would be the largest organization ever attempted. Let's face it!! Society and the Prison system will not help us or your loved one--it is really up to us. I know in my heart that there are tons of people with the like goal, and with the needed expertise to train, educate, and get these women & men the needed mental help the need and deserve, AND to give their families hope for their futures.
Again, this my dream and concept. I have really no idea how to begin, but I firmly beleive, it has to be done, and we are the ones who have to do it. Please, respond with your thoughts!! Thanks for reading.
Sincerely,
Jim from Jacksonville,FL
My name is Jim, and my wife & I have a son who has been incarcerated for 3yrs, serving a 15-yr sentence for 1 count of possession of CP on his personal computer. He now is in MS, approx. 9hrs away (1-way) from us. Although he was convicted in GA, and here in FL they ave plenty of facillities, but the courts and the BOP have "conveniently" located him over a days' drive away, even though one of the tenets of incarceration is to keep., "close family contact to ease the time away, and further rehabilitation when the prisoner is released..". I'm not here to debate the inequity of both current prisoners, and releashed SO's.
The whole "SO's for Life" is such a damming label, no wonder many just "give up" and go back to prison.
My thought is: Is there anyway that all of us friends, families, convicts can come together and start an organization that does NOTHING except support, train, educate, rehabilitate, provide jobs and a hope for the future for these men & women caught up in these circumstances?
With the ranks of SO's growing at an exponential rate, and all the hardships they encounter or will encounter throughout the rest of their lives, this will touch so many people's lives: You won't be able to speak with anyone who dosn't know of a family member or friend that has been stuck with this label.
Like many of you, upon my son's arrest and subsequent trial and incarceration, was the first time in our lives that had seen this side of the law. Granted, I too, had thought for so many yrs. and subscribed to the "lock them up, and throw away the key" mentality. I had in my mind mind that all SO's were they rapists, the producers and distributors of CP. Wow..didn't we all become experts quickly on how the courts systems and laws paint a wide swath that includes the worse of the worse to someone who "viewed it online".
I'm sorry this is so long, and I will try to sum up here: My point is--with a Nationwide system that everyone contributes something, collectively we could amass millions & millions of dollars to begin a true rehab and re-training of these human beings that soceity wants to throw away, and make every day life so miserable for them, even after the sentences have been completed. I had dreamed of this idea, whereas a person could not join this organization without having been convicted. I had envisioned thousands of individuals that have came together in a united cause. This would be the largest organization ever attempted. Let's face it!! Society and the Prison system will not help us or your loved one--it is really up to us. I know in my heart that there are tons of people with the like goal, and with the needed expertise to train, educate, and get these women & men the needed mental help the need and deserve, AND to give their families hope for their futures.
Again, this my dream and concept. I have really no idea how to begin, but I firmly beleive, it has to be done, and we are the ones who have to do it. Please, respond with your thoughts!! Thanks for reading.
Sincerely,
Jim from Jacksonville,FL
Yes, you're right! But, how might we get this started? (We are also parents of a labeled son. He was arrested 12 hours away, so we know that nightmare. Two years of court, three years incarceration, 3 years parole/with ankle monitor. All that time we, his parents, have had to provide support, unless we wanted to see him homeless and living in the streets.) I have been associated with RSOL for years. Most states have chapters. Perhaps they could help coordinate the effort. Florida has a chapter if you have not already contacted them.
I have started a family support network in my area for family members.
Our son got a business license and started his own handyman business, but nothing came of it. Then, the government sent him a tax bill saying he owned taxes. (They estimated that he must have earned 20,000, instead of the 200 he did earn.) He has yet to find a job and we live in a large California city. He was charged with molestation for consensual touching with a 15.8 year old who he belived to be 19. She lied about her age.
Jobs and money are the only thing holding them back.
And thanks for sharing, we often don't hear from fathers and it's the fathers we need to get involved.
What about a way to change employers thinking - retrain peoples thoughts about the different types of offenders. That many offenders are NOT - MONSTERS!! Get national employers to agree to hire this group of individuals.
Another way to fix this situation would be to get the registry abolished. Join the Reform Sex Offender Laws group in your state. Life without the registry would improve the lives of all these individuals.
We also have a son that was arrested three years ago for possession of cp. He is over twelve hours away, one way. I am deeply sorry that this has happened to your family too.
Blessings, Faithflower
One of the biggest problems that is faced is houseing,money and work ithink that's true for wherever you are. I also think the laws need changing big time I think if they where changed in your country the rest of the world might change as well. I can only hope on that one.
My recent experiences have taught me that very tragic things can happen in an unguarded moment. And then the foundation for further tragedy is laid. Are those who have fallen victim to bad circumstances and their own weakness supposed to be thrown out with the trash because they hurt someone else? Or did Jesus die for them too? Is possible that they can pay their debt, be helped out of the hell they've entered, and be put on a path to healing? From what I've seen, many sex offenders are truly repentant and remorseful. They long for the chance to be freed from the burden of guilt, shame, and sin. They're wiling to work for it! And many become absolutely amazing individuals of high moral character who could bless society if society could only get past its fears, labels, and laws.
I am definitely interested in being part of some kind of organized movement.
Oh my gosh!!..Thanks so much for responding. I have read every response, and, just like I said, everyone has different ideas and concepts. Not saying every one is good or bad...we just need a starting point. If everyone can reach out to at least one other person, organization, employer, ect. and group together..county to city to state to each other states and get this "kneejerk" reaction to these, by & large, harmless individuals, who, granted, made a very grave error in judgement, but no way deserve this harsh and ongoing humiliation.
Every night on yhe news, my jaw drops when I hear a person convicted of taking a life, is sentenced to say, 7yrs., available for parole in 5yrs., and then can merrily resume their life, as if it was no big thing. And yet, with the hysteria associated with SO's, and subsequent villafication of them once out, LIFETIME registry, mandatory notification within 48hrs. of arriving in any town or city to the local police. To have to lok over your shoulder at every turn, to worry what IF a childcare center moves in too close to me, then I have to move, ect. I understand here in FL, that for a SO to get a drivers license ( to goto or look for work that the must do as part of probation.) they will be given a "special" license, something like a green or red stripe across it, that tells ANYONE who sees it..that he or she is a SO!! How crazy is that?? Now, not only do the authorities know, but now my bank, the DMV, any restaurant, or the 17yr old gas station attendant ...wow...totally unhinged.. Yes, I agree with all of you..we need to start somewhere and keep up the pressure...It does begin at the top, legislation and so on...but also, we need a mutl-pronged attack...employers who can be shown that these individuals need support, and most if not all would give their everything...they have lost so much allready...thx for posting about local RSOL organization. I will check into that right away...as always, to you all, keep writing, keep the faith...and stay active. We must act, Sitting at home at our computers...or staring out the window asking ourselves "what if??" won't get it done.
I,myself, don't even have internet access at home, since I am looking for a job myself, BUT..dosen't mean I can't walk the mile to the local McDonalds and use their wi-fi. So, its easy to get down on ourselves and feel distraught & alone, but take heart, my friends...there are many of "us".. Let's get it going. Think about ways you can help your SO, and SO's all over the USA. We can, and we will do it.
Thank you all for allowing me an outlet...sometimes I ramble and get off point, so pleaase bare with me.
I feel so overjoyed with all of the support, ideas and comments. Again thanks, and let's get busy!
Deepest Regards,
Jim in Jacksonville, FL