Hi, My name is Ellie, I am 32 y/o and live in Florida with my fiancee' Jon. Jon is a SO. That is how I found DS, searching for support groups for famiiles of SO's, once I was a member, I realized that I had so many other groups and support groups I could join! Well here's our story. Jon and I met and dated in high school. My dad met him and said "don't ever talk to my daughter again" We kept in touch over the years and our feelings for one another never changed. We wanted to give it another try a few times, but life always got in the way. We finally got our 2nd chance Sept 22. We're engaged to be married Mar 22. Like I said, Jon is a SO. He met a girl at a party, where he'd been drinking, that said she was 18, and she'd been drinking.... They started hanging out and began making out. Heavily. They both took some Ecstasy. Things kept getting really hot and heavy and they left the party together to go to a local lake. Apparently the girl passed out at some point and Jon proceeded to have sex with her. After. they drove back to the party together, in Jon's vehicle. (My first problem is, If I had just been raped, there is NO WAY I'd get back in the vehicle with my perpretrator, I'd walk, call the police or a friend, but not get back in that truck) They went back to the party together, and the girl (Ashley) began drinking more, kept socializing and having a good time (another problem, If I had just been raped, I wouldn't be socializing and having a good time, I'd be crying and visibly upset, trying to find my ride so I could go home) Finally, when it was time to go, the guy she went to the party with (who was not her boyfriend) drove her home. He said she acted fine, like she was drunk, and there was nothing bothering her (again problem, if I had just been raped, I would be visibly upset, shaking and crying) When she got home she got caught sneaking in the house. Her mother asked her where she'd been, and when her mother asked her who she was with (Jon) and how old he was (19 at the time) She then cried Rape! (If it was me, the first thing that would've come out of my mouth was that I was raped!) Then during the trial, Ashley walked up to Jon after court one day and asked him to not bring up the fact that they had taken ectasy that night, because she didn't want anyone looking at her any differently. (hello?!? There is no way I would walk up to my rapist and initiate a conversation with him, I'd be avoiding him at all costs because just looking at him makes me have a panic attack, but she walks up to him and initiates a conversation!?!) Jon was sentenced to 8 years in prison, he served 7 with gain time for good behavior) When he got out of prison, he had planned to move back here, in with his dad and sister. His sister's boyfriend that lived there with them, said "No, he's not moving in here!' Jon was homeless for 6 momths. He immediately got a job and started saving money. He moved to Gainesville and bought a house, a few cars. fixed up all the cars, resold some, collected some, even built and opened his own mechanic's shop. Hard times came, his ex fiancee' left and took all their money and he couldn't pay the mortgage so he lost the house. He was able to find another place right away) Then a few months later, he talked to his dad and didn't feel comfortable letting his elderly father who has several health conditions live on his own anymore, so he relocated back down here again. Upon arriving back in Ft. Myers, he found out that his dad's house was being foreclosed on. He saved his money and moved them from a 3 bedroom HOUSE to a 2 bedroom DUPLEX! (Which isn't easy to do when your father refuses to get rid of anything) Today, Jon owns his own lawn service, works full time doing home remodeling, owns his truck, still has ad's on craigslist for people looking for a mechanic, and another ad for people who need a handyman, pays for the truck, insurance, cable, internet, our phones (he added me to his account and pays both of our bills) and half the rent. His dad pays his half of the rent, the electric and the water. Jon puts ALL the food in the house, puts ALL the gas in the truck (except for the $20-$30 a week that dad gives us for driving him to and from work) buys ALL of our cigarettes etc etc etc. I am telling you this so you can see that he's not the monster that people think he is and make him out to be. He's an upstanding citizen today. He hasn't been in contact with the law AT ALL since he was released from prison in 2008. He admits that what he did was wrong, and he's made himself a better person, today. I joined this group to meet other family members who have a SO in their lives. I would love to be able to chat, get to know you, get/give advice... Hope to hear back from some of you soon. Thank you for taking the time to read this post and maybe respond.

Ellie