It can be despairing, that is no lie.

From experience I can say though that even despite the consequences, you have to be thankful for what you do have. I cannot speak for the states' systems, only the federal aspect. Most institutions do "put on a decent spread" for the holiday meals (e.g. Thanksgiving and Christmas) if you are in the general population.

All the while a person eats... you try desperately to remember past memories or you even daydream what it would be like to be with family currently if you have any. Generally you sit with people that you have made friends with and for now that is your surrogate family. For me I didn't hang around with knuckleheads and that kept me out of trouble for the entire time I was in, so that helps in having some sort of normalcy to your "new normal for now" even though it is not normal.

My heart goes out to you. I cannot even begin to comfort it as I imagine the pain hurts really bad.

Rest assured that your gift to him means the entire world to him even if he is too embarrassed to say anything. It is most definitely not the same as if you were presently there, but he will be thinking of you as if you were there.

Hubby won't let me send him money on his canteen, and doesn't want a package for Christmas. He would rather I spend it on the kids. He doesn't NEED anything, so he doesn't want me to send him a package. I may send him at least a magazine subscription....

Very thoughtful of you @T.A.W. ;0)

I wanted to get him something for Christmas. He wouldn't let me get him anything for his birthday either. He said me visiting was more than enough.

So sorry Jesse! It is painful and I feel your pain as this will be my third Christmas without my son! I gave him extra money so he could get some new clothes and he is talking about getting extra food. What can I say? If that is what is gonna make him happy for the month of December, then so be it! It is a very painful thing having to face this but the holidays on top of it without him there hurts really bad and no one but you all understand this as you have a loved one going through this first hand or you are going through this yourself. I have said this before and I will say it again. My Mother loves her grandson, but no one feels it like my Son and I. I don't think his father feels the way I do either. I visit my son every chance I get. In fact, I got to visit him 3 times in November and 3 in December and by George, I will do it! It is what keeps me going! So Jesse, and everyone on here, stay Strong!

This will be my 4th Christmas without my husband. It is a sad day, but i also have to be there for the kids and celebrate Christmas. This year will also be a lot different as my daughter went to boot camp in novemeber so will not be home for Christmas - so first Christmas with out her home too.

Thank you all for your kind words. My son is incarcerated 8 hours from home, so as a special gift to him and myself, I am going out there twice this month. I only visit one weekend a month, so going twice will be a real treat for the both of us.

And yes, Heartbroken, we have to stay strong....time stands still for no one, and one day we all will be reunited with our loved ones.

Amen Jesse!!! God Bless You and I am so happy to hear that you are doing this for your son and yourself! It is such a fulfilling for me and I am sure for you!

HB

I just ordered my sons boxes for christmas. My mother and I went together and one got him a food box and one got him a clothing box (including new tennis shoes). I only pray he can feel the love in those boxes! That is the best we can do right now! He is starting year 2 of a 3 year sentence so hopefully he will be home very soon!!

I feel all of your pain and those of the ones you love this time of year.

My nephew is in prison and awaiting his sentencing. He just lost his mom unexpectedly. He is beyond devasted. He loved her so much. She was his rock and he wasn't able to even pay her last respect.

This holiday season to me is just another day as the day before...miss him and staying strong for him.

Love and prayers to all.

Big big hugs for all.. This will be our 1st Christmas without my son.. He is sitting in county jail awaiting his trial to get started next yr.. Me and his sister r a mess

This is my first Christmas without my son. He was just recently incarcerated (sept 29th) serving 8 years. The pain is so great. Everything triggers memories of better days. I have other children that I need to be strong for but it's extremely hard when even the smallest reminder of his childhood can cause uncontrollable sobbing.

I feel for everyone especially our loved ones who are incarcerated. May they be safe and comfortable this holiday.

Love to all.

Just wanted to also reply and let you know it does get better. This is my 4th Christmas with out him. I have 2 more before he gets home. If anyone ever needs to talk, be sure to message me. I am with my kids for a week, but moved away from them to be closer to him. Been with him for 35 years and I know a stupid mistake does not define him. Just cards and letters and letting them know you still love and care, gets them through the holidays. Just enjoy the family you have around you, make new friends and stay active, the time will go amazingly fast. God Bless You All!