Dear Help Me, My hearts aches with yours. I am on the other side of the spectrum however in that it was my choice to not to get help I needed that ultimately separated me from my wife and my four young children, but am with you as someone who is separated from their soul mate. In my case four souls mates. Independence day 2012 was the first major holiday I spent apart from them.

Please forgive me as this may at first blush sound somewhat canned, but you must very simply count your blessings. They are still there among the broken shards. Find joy in the love that still surrounds you, namely your children. Continue to show love by supporting your husband. He'll need you. It takes strength to show love in these difficult circumstances. You have great strength that many don't possess, more than you know.

While we had loving extended families, we tended to hang together on our small farm 70 miles from nowhere, which was wonderful but that isolation left HB (my nick name for my x) feeling very cut off when I went to jail then prison. You've found wonderful friends here. Reach out and take hold whenever you need to. I wish HB knew of these resources and pray she has someone she can talk to. Consider there is great strength to be found in helping others. I could shrink away into despair, and at times I still want to, but that would, if possible, be more selfish than the behaviors I was engaged in that tore us apart. I'm so thankful to God that he can make something beautiful when people pull together in love with a common purpose. Please trust that.

Don't isolate, love on your children. This terrible situation may be what brings you all closer together, including you and your husband, if you choose to make it so. But it is a choice. The last thing my HB said to me, just about three years ago was, Marty, get and stay close to God. That's what I would say to you.

H3lpm3 I hear you I really do it to has just been over a year since my DH has been gone idk if the holidays get any easier or not I wanna crawl in a ball and hide until the time when he can come home I do try and love on my kids and do things with them but money is so very tight and I really don't have any extra but we need to enjoy them while they are still young 1 day our loved ones will be home

I completely understand. Finding everything I can to be thankful for has helped me. Anything from my comfy bed, roof over my head, my children and our good health. I'll go throughout the day just being grateful for anything and everything. When I have my down moments, I say "this too shall pass" and it does.