I'm glad I've finally worked up the courage to google "support groups for" and had sex offenders finally come up. The thought makes me want to puke even still just thinking about the situation. The man, the once love of my life and I had been together 3 years when it happened. Our son was 6 months old. Despite the evidence I've been shown, I tell myself that I will never know what happened. Both sides of the story are so scattered and make no sense from anyone. Here's my view.

In November 09, my boyfriend had a visit from 2 girls he hadn't seen in years(he had always been really popular and some of his friends he had before me weren't thrilled about him becoming a dad) showed up in his life. They got him away from his computer and put a hacker virus on his computer. I do believe that because not only did he log onto to his stuff(obviously) but all of mine and his sister's logins, and all of our emails and Facebooks began changing with random info we certainly never wrote.

In February, this girl started showing up at the college where him and I went. She had a license saying she was 19 and led him to believe she was age. Yes we were dating(and we've never stopped) but I soon found out that despite my protests, they were hanging out in person and online when I wasn't there. They talked on MSN often and supposedly only through MSN. In April 2010, he dad called, said she was 14 and that the police were on the way to arrest him because of the YAHOO ims he had found on her computer. Later when my boyfriend reviewed them, he saw they were the same conversations they had had on MSN, except on Yahoo. She gave 5 different statements to 5 different people because she couldn't get her stories straight. In the end, because of her scattered statements and because the IM said one single time that they had had sex(once while she was in town and he was in Florida, 2 other times when he has attendance records saying he was in his college classes) he was arrested twice. I found out that because of her father's business, he paid off the West Orange Police and the judges to have him arrested. With the threat of losing his 1 year old child if he pleaded not guilty, he gave in and pleaded guilty. I couldn't show up for sentencing. It's now been over a year since his court date. What was supposed to be an easy life has become gut wrenching. No story she said made sense and no facts were right. It doesn't matter what the police, evidence, or their facebooks say, what I know is what confuses me to if it really happened or not.

For months, while taking care of our child alone because I am forced to live with my parents due to lack of money at 22 years old and him 23, I stayed awake all night and day, sick with the deafening silence. The only escape was to write a story of the details of our struggle without changing a single detail except for the names. After it was finally written down on Microsoft Word, I was finally able to breathe for the first time. We live in Texas where the harshest of laws apply and every day is a battle. I've tried sending my story into publishers with no avail. I try not to give up so one day I can share my story with the world in hopes that she realizes that she had nothing to gain from this. (Even her prosecutor said she was promiscuous.) To add insult to injury, her story just got published to the newest chicken soup for the teenage soul book. How can you forget the past when this is our present and our future? There is no forgiveness when my 6 month old did nothing to anyone, yet barely gets a meal because I can't afford it, even with help. Trust me I can go on for hours. I'm just so tired of crying alone.