Families of SOs Community Group
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My son went to his court mandated Mental Health treatment this week. We spoke about assessing a time line. My son has now been going since Feb. and his therapist thinks it's time we started taking the steps to stop therapy as he's run out of things to talk to my son about.
His therapist is emailing the PO to see what he says. Hopefully we'll be done with treatment soon. and it would not only give my son a little bit of normalcy back but save me $200 a month.
The PO's supervisor is still into having my son take SO treatment, but hopefully we won't be fighting that in the courts and his need for my son to take that route will just go away. After all , the federal judge said he wasn't to take treatment. . so, we'll see.
New computer coming in soon for my son as well. He says he's going to use it as little as possible. But I think, him having it, and proving that he's no threat to children will only help his case.
and the fight continues.
His therapist is emailing the PO to see what he says. Hopefully we'll be done with treatment soon. and it would not only give my son a little bit of normalcy back but save me $200 a month.
The PO's supervisor is still into having my son take SO treatment, but hopefully we won't be fighting that in the courts and his need for my son to take that route will just go away. After all , the federal judge said he wasn't to take treatment. . so, we'll see.
New computer coming in soon for my son as well. He says he's going to use it as little as possible. But I think, him having it, and proving that he's no threat to children will only help his case.
and the fight continues.
My son was mandated Mental health treatment that he just couldn't pay for because he couldn't get a job.
That puts the burden on the family and not the SO.
In NJ they can violate the SO for not attending treatment. What if he had NO family to fall back on? Could or would they imprison him for life? What sense does that make?
I dont know if he will be able to use a computer. Certainly NO social media places will be allowed. The whole computer issue is still open for legal debate. Lets keep our finger crossed on that one. Cellphones come with social media built into the firmware. Try and find a cellphone WITHOUT facebook/twitter etc..
If a Judge has adjudicated his case then his orders rule the day. Start doing reading about handling these kinds of situations PRO-SE unless you have plenty of money to pay lawyers.
I found that with an attorney...ya win some and loose some and pay a heap.
Without an attorney, pro-se, you will win some and loose some also but you dont pay out the wazzu. ALSO some judge show more leniency for pro se filings. EG; What happens if the judge knows the lawyer and dislikes him?
If you choose to go the pro-se route to get answers, make sure you file motions that you know you will loose and dont fight them but add ONE that you really want and press the issue hard.
Remember...no matter what or who...ya win some and loose some with or without an attorney. Its your wallet.
I'm always ready for something not to go right. After all, my son didn't do anything except accidentally download that cp..
I don't know what happens to those who can't pay for treatment. Prison has a swinging door. My son could be sent back for some many reasons that the ordinary person doesn't have to worry about. At this point I feel the PO realizes my son isn't a threat and that maybe his charges were trumped up. He's said many times that my son doesn't seem like most of the other guys the PO is in charge of.
Next on our list to to petition the court to have his probation cut back. I know it won't happen right away but we'll keep trying every year until it is.
One on my son's prison friends got released to his parents in NJ.. He's got lifetime probation. And I've heard thru the grapevine that they found him with letters from one of his inmate buddies.. and we don't know if he was sent back for violating parole. But no one has heard from him lately.
How can they possibly want to live their lives, on a daily basis, always thinking about children being sexually abused, etc.? The ICE agents who spend every day looking for new SOs. The therapists who 'treat' the SOs. They're sicker than the people they treat. The ICE agents watch more cp than anyone they snag.
They're a bunch of sick minded MFers. And, as we find out, some of them enjoy looking at cp themselves. The head of ICE in Miami, who was in charge of my son's sting eventually went to prison for sharing cp.
sorry.. went off in a tangent there but it really blows my mind.
My son's therapist believes my son isn't a threat to children and my son is not taking SO treatment from him. But most times when my son sees him the therapist suggests my son tell any prospective girlfriends what he did. He didn't do anything! But with everything the therapist believes about my son he still wants him to do a 'safety plan' and warn any girl that he downloaded cp. My son always tells the truth but at this point he's thinking about lying to the guy just to get him off his back.
Honesty is always a good thing and has its place. If your son sees someone casually, it is just that. No need o go into deep, personal issues. Everyone I care about knows about my past and doesn't care. Those I don't care about know little about me. That's just the way I like it.
If you mean nothing to me, you know nothing about me.
As for tangents, talking about the low lifes on the other side of this is not a tangent. It is what we all deal with.
i am on a fixed income and the thoughts of trying to pay for probation and therapy scares the hell out of me. i will be 60 in november and not in the best of health. if something happens to me while she is in still in prison? i worry about her emotional and mental health. and that carries over to wondering just wtf she will do or how she will ever be able to pay for anything now or when she gets out.
I have a life insurance policy for $1Mil which costs me $65/ month. but he'd still be alone. He went in when he was 20 and spent all those years not learning how to take care of himself on the outside. I don't know what state you live in but I shudder when I think that we could have been stuck in Floriduh with all this. I'm a bit more hopeful because of where we live, in Philly, and that he doesn't have a lifetime of it, and eventually he'll be 'sortof' free. I hope I just hold out that long.
Just having to take the hike to the police station to change any info, if it changes, and checking in once a year. It takes us 30 minutes by car. I don't know how others do it who don't have a car. They take trains and numerous buses and it can take hours to get there. Try asking your boss off for the day so you can check in with the cops.
I feel luckier than a lot of others who are in this position. My heart goes out to you.
i am living in tn where she was convicted and was sent to AL. we are originally from upstate ny. i am rather new to all of this and have no idea which state would have been worse.
as it stands she was sentenced to 10yrs of prison, 15yrs of probation and life time registry. all i can do now is hope and pray that things might change for the better for her cause there that chance thatmore than likely wont be around for another 25yrs.
It's the lifetime registry that freaked me out.. I just had to do something.
I hate to say this, but hopefully there will be so many people on the registry that it has to blow up in the governments face. I feel that these laws will change eventually, but it won't be soon enough. I do think it will be much sooner than 25 years tho. This kind of thing just can't be sustained. Look at what's happening with others who are just fed up and are charged and bullied by the militia police these days. It's reaching a tipping point, in my opinion.
Soon everyone will have a friend or family in prison and on the registry.. well, at least the poor . Rich people always find a way out of these things.