Families of SOs Community Group
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I am new to this site, and new to this group. Although I have heard of this group for years, I hesitated. I don't know why.
Our family has endured the nightmare. It has taken it's toll on all of us.
Introduction:
Back in 2001, our son's wife, and high school sweetheart, left for another man. She left behind not only our son, but their four year old son as well. They had been together for 13 years. Our son was devestated.
They lived in a small town in N. California.
The following year, my husband and I decided to "invest" in property. We bought a house, that our son had helped build while working for a contractor. We lived 700 miles away in S. California. It was the craziest thing we have ever done. But since our son had custody of his son, but couldn't move due to the courts orders, we felt it was the best thing to do for him and our grandson. He would make the payments.
While visiting us that year, he complained about some girl who would not stop calling him, and said that he was going to change his phone number. We really didn't pay attention, although we certainly should have!
His ex-wife then decided that she wanted their son back, and a huge court battle ensued.
While posting work fliers at a small community pool and park area, a girl struck up a conversation with our son .She told him she was 19. She took his phone number off the flier, and called him the next day. They met a few times, and although they did not have sex, they did touch each other with kisses and hugs. And even if she was 19, she was too young for our son who was 32.
While having lunch at a local restaurant, she said something surprising. When questioned, she admitted that she was only 16. Our son got very angry. He told her, "Don't ever call me again" and left.
However, she did keep calling, and he had to then change his number.
That following year, as he was still fighting with his ex-wife, he was arrested. He refused the plea agreement, and he spent the following two years in court. It was a He said, She said case, although she did tell the court that they never had sex. His charge was molestation. He spent the next three years in prison. While I certainly don't condone what he did, and certainly felt angry, I don't believe that the punishment fits the crime.
Three plus years prison, now chained to an ankle braclet like an animal, can't live anywhere, can't get a job, can't see his son, can't see others in the family because of their ages, can't attend church, can't go to any beach, park, pier, the list goes on and on as most of you know. After living in our home for 25 years, our neighbors no longer speak to us. Even some friends seem to distance themselves. It is hell on earth.
His wife got what she wanted. Our grandson was ripped out of his home, out of his school, and moved to another state. At the time, he had been chosen for All Stars, and was a straight A -Gate Student.
She refused to get him counseling, even though he had started to sleep walk every night.
AND THIS IS THE PART THAT I WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR OPINIONS AND PERSPECTIVE ON.
What we did not know at the time- was that our ex-daughter in laws boyfreind had a baby that they were raising. Turns out that he ( at age 28 ) had impregnated his girlfriend, age 15, prior to meeting our ex-daughter in law. Same county, and about the time our son was being arrested. He was never prosecuted. WHY?
The reason this bothers me so much is the fact that our son has not been allowed to see his son, yet he is allowed to live with the other man. I don't want revenge. I wouldn't bring this pain unto anyone else. But, I just am having a difficult time coming to terms with this.
Our family has endured the nightmare. It has taken it's toll on all of us.
Introduction:
Back in 2001, our son's wife, and high school sweetheart, left for another man. She left behind not only our son, but their four year old son as well. They had been together for 13 years. Our son was devestated.
They lived in a small town in N. California.
The following year, my husband and I decided to "invest" in property. We bought a house, that our son had helped build while working for a contractor. We lived 700 miles away in S. California. It was the craziest thing we have ever done. But since our son had custody of his son, but couldn't move due to the courts orders, we felt it was the best thing to do for him and our grandson. He would make the payments.
While visiting us that year, he complained about some girl who would not stop calling him, and said that he was going to change his phone number. We really didn't pay attention, although we certainly should have!
His ex-wife then decided that she wanted their son back, and a huge court battle ensued.
While posting work fliers at a small community pool and park area, a girl struck up a conversation with our son .She told him she was 19. She took his phone number off the flier, and called him the next day. They met a few times, and although they did not have sex, they did touch each other with kisses and hugs. And even if she was 19, she was too young for our son who was 32.
While having lunch at a local restaurant, she said something surprising. When questioned, she admitted that she was only 16. Our son got very angry. He told her, "Don't ever call me again" and left.
However, she did keep calling, and he had to then change his number.
That following year, as he was still fighting with his ex-wife, he was arrested. He refused the plea agreement, and he spent the following two years in court. It was a He said, She said case, although she did tell the court that they never had sex. His charge was molestation. He spent the next three years in prison. While I certainly don't condone what he did, and certainly felt angry, I don't believe that the punishment fits the crime.
Three plus years prison, now chained to an ankle braclet like an animal, can't live anywhere, can't get a job, can't see his son, can't see others in the family because of their ages, can't attend church, can't go to any beach, park, pier, the list goes on and on as most of you know. After living in our home for 25 years, our neighbors no longer speak to us. Even some friends seem to distance themselves. It is hell on earth.
His wife got what she wanted. Our grandson was ripped out of his home, out of his school, and moved to another state. At the time, he had been chosen for All Stars, and was a straight A -Gate Student.
She refused to get him counseling, even though he had started to sleep walk every night.
AND THIS IS THE PART THAT I WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR OPINIONS AND PERSPECTIVE ON.
What we did not know at the time- was that our ex-daughter in laws boyfreind had a baby that they were raising. Turns out that he ( at age 28 ) had impregnated his girlfriend, age 15, prior to meeting our ex-daughter in law. Same county, and about the time our son was being arrested. He was never prosecuted. WHY?
The reason this bothers me so much is the fact that our son has not been allowed to see his son, yet he is allowed to live with the other man. I don't want revenge. I wouldn't bring this pain unto anyone else. But, I just am having a difficult time coming to terms with this.
In regards to you question, why...........I can't answer that. Perhaps it was never made public to the prosecutor. Therefore, they didn't know that an under age encounter occurred. I'm sure if they had known, some sort of prosecution would have taken place.
I would take honestwitness' advice and consult a family attorney, one who works in this sort of area. I hesitate to tell you to call CPS, because sometimes that can back fire and you might get the little one taken from the whole family. So it's best to contact an attorney for the best advice on how to handle this situation. I know of a registrant that has custody of both his children. It CAN be done!
Keep your faith and hope!
Again, welcome to our group!
Hugs,
RWsMom
Sounds like the teenager involved could be the same girl?? ahhumm ???? Hey, could be... !!
CA Native.... get to know me by my video..... let me know if I can help with anything. Glad you finally jumped in, you should feel a since of relief just being able to share with people who give a shit. ;)
I will be continuing my story...from time to time, as it helps me, and might help others. I will be reading all the topics, communications and watching videos as time permits. I want to help others get through the nighmare as well.