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18 year old and 16 year old

hurtinwife
hurtinwife
I am dealing with a parent who is totally afraid of her son being 18 and my daughter being 16-1/2 and seeing each other. She is afraid that if her son doesn't do something my daughter wants than she will cry rape and get him in trouble. The mother will not talk to me about it. His parents are making so hard on these two that they have basically given up. Why is it that this world has come to this. Kids can;t even be kids anymore without this fear. They have been together for almost a year and they get along great. He spent a lot of time over at our house and she has spent alot of time at his house (parents present at his place and at my house). What i am not sure of is if she feels this way due to my husband being in prison for a sex crime against my daughter or if she's just afraid because he is 18.
ThoughtAsWeak
ThoughtAsWeak
It may be a combination of the two. If the two are meant to be together, then they will be together again.
Group Founderwisconsinrsol
wisconsinrsol
If you were the mother of an 18 yr old male, watched the news and then knew that your husband was in prison for a sex crime... how would you feel about him talking or looking at a 16 yr old? Especially one that had a sex crime committed against her. I am not a mother and I know I would be terrified... Do you blame her? All you would have to do is get upset at him for something, report him and that would be the end of his life. All your daughter would have to do is the same, she doesn't even need you, could go to the school counselor and say something to them and they will be REQUIRED to report it to the cops... then that boy's life is over. Unless you live in a state where the legal age of consent is 16, she has every right to be paranoid and afraid. I know I would be...
Independent2014
Independent2014
What state are you guys in?
hurtinwife
hurtinwife
We are in ohio were the age of consent is 16. I guess where i have a problem is his mom won't talk to me, plus i found out that she doesn't know about my husband
Group Founderwisconsinrsol
wisconsinrsol
Well then she probably doesn't know the law... and that believes that her son is breaking it and might be someone that wants to just not talk about it so that it isn't real.

Have you considered hand writing a letter to her and mailing it... if you had her email that would work too. Something so that it will take off the confrontational pressures of the talk itself. which anticipation could make it so much worse.. heh

Then it will give her time to digest about all of the information and respond... I don't know this person so if they are just nuts or plain paranoid, this will probably not work.. but if you can't get her on the phone or by knocking on her door... delivery might work... :)
hurtinwife
hurtinwife
Why does everything have to be so bad these days? I met my first husband when i was 14 and people didn't like it but no one really made a big deal about it. We did get married and were married for 22 years. Kids can't be kids now a days and it hurts. I understand where she is coming from to a point but like i said she doesn't want to talk about it. I am glad you mentioned email or a letter to her as i think that is what i will do. Because i can tell you we are the last people that would yell rape or anything else with what we have already been through. I know what this can do to people and their lives so it would take a lot for me to do anything and i believe my daughter would be the same. The kid is a good kid and i would be totally surprised if he tried to hurt my daughter in anyway. I know i thought the same of my husband, but i am trying not to pass judgment on people that haven't done anything. And even those that have should be given a 2nd chance if they are remorseful, do their time, get help while in prison for what they have done and continue to get help when they get out.
wanderingaround
wanderingaround
It's odd that she's let them hang out together at her house for the past year and now suddenly has a problem with the age difference. And if she won't even talk to you there is no way to know exactly what her problem is or why. But they are both young and can move on. They can always look each other up again after your daughter turns 18 if they still want to.