Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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Adia 08/16/2017

Hello everyone,

Me and my girlfriend have not been together long but I am completely in love with her. Unfortunately, she is in county jail due to some poor choices she made before we knew each other awaiting sentence for her charges. She has also been in and out of jail since she was a child, but this is the first time she will be facing some possible heavy time. I have never been with anyone in prison, I am still adjusting to not having her here with me. I am trying to be the light in her life and still maintain my own sanity. I made the decision to stay with her and make our relationship work even though she has encourge me not to because we are young. She is 23 yrs old and I am 25, I know it is alot to give up but I dont and cant imagine my life with anyone else. I am just seeking advice and tips on how to prepare myself mentally for whatever time she may get. I want to know if anyone else has been with someone in prison at a young age and if so how did you deal with putting a hold on your dreams of a family and marriage or did you. My biggest fear is anger or depression growing in the time we are apart because she is not physically here to witness important milestones in my life like my upcoming college graduation,buying a house, family events and just everyday life. Although, I feel I am a strong person, this is out of my comfort zone.

brandnewangel 08/17/2017

I was a little bit older than you when my ex went in, I was absolutely in love with him.i lived and breathed for him... he end up getting 15 years which i told him I would wait for him because I was in love with him,there are only 2 other men that I love more than him...I proposed to him then he proposed to me ... I thought we would get married and be happily ever after.. they say absence makes the heart grows fonder unfortunately it didn't for me.. I got sick of being alone and got sick of him not valuing our relationship as much as I did..we end up breaking up last year ... I'm not saying to walk away but this will really test your relationship .. my brother told his girlfriend to move on which I never understood that until I was put in the position...he didn't think was fair to make her wait around ...personally for me I don't think there truly a way to mentally prepare for this.. one thing is phone calls are $$$$ for me because he was in another state so I got a local phone number for where he was calls were so much cheaper ...if your going help her out make a BUDGET (I failed this part) One thing is if you visit her the first visit for me was brutal I end up crying all way home ......read all the rules and regulations ... along with dress code I always left extra clothes in my car just in case my clothes weren't allowed or if someone needed to borrow any for same reason ..

Adia 08/17/2017

Thank u! I have already started to see how expensive the calls are. We definitely need to set a budget but it's hard when I constantly want to hear from her.

bassa 08/19/2017

Follow you heart! There is no right or wrong answer. My wife is in prison for five years. It will be brutal at times. But there are also times when it is the best thing in the world. I am waiting for my wife. I believe my wife is worth waiting for.

LadyJay 08/25/2017

I am 25, my fiancé is 25. Age is nothing but a number. This last year has been difficult.... going through the motions of life without him being here to experience it with me. If it's for you then you will perservere through it. Just make sure you are open and honest. Do not pretend everything is perfect when it's not. She will know and she will feel some type of way as you would if you hid your true feelings. Good luck. Positive thoughts and vibes to you both!

rebecca2013 09/30/2017

My ex's stepfather was in prison for something that he did. My ex was not mentally capable of handling prison. so his stepfather took the blame for it. My ex never showed any remorse for it either. he laughed about it and made jokes about it. he didn't realize just how bad his stepfather had it in prison. my ex was very abusive towards his mother and I. we ended up having him arrested though for domestic abuse. he would get upset when we wouldn't go see him in jail, but would drive the 2 and a half hrs to go see his stepfather. My ex suffered from mental health issues which he never had under control. he failed to take his meds. while I was with him though his mom committed suicide. he was questioned about it,because he had made the comment that he could "kill" his mom and make it look like a suicide.
Shortly after that though things between him and I went down hill. i ended up putting him in a psychotic hospital due to the fact that i couldn't handle his mental health issues anymore.
I am now married and have been married for 4 years now.

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