Sorry you are going through this. There are lots of wonderful people on this site. This is normal what you are feeling and it is hard to believe now but it will get a bit easier over time. My husband has been gone for 1 year and 4 months. I still have good days and bad days. Just take care of yourself and be there for your husband

Thank you so much. I will be ok for a lil while then I will have set backs. I just can't believe your living your life then in the blink of an eye your loved one is gone. I also hurt for him cuz he doesn't deserve to be there. I know a lot of people say that but he doesn't. He has made mistakes in his past and that's what they are going off. People do grow and change but society doesn't believe that. But he has a life out here and now it's all changed....for what? I just don't want him to be there hurting and stuff. I have been reading stuff on here since Jan. but was finally able to join.

Stick with the people on here. They will get you through more than anyone on the outside that hasn't went through this, and won't ever understand.

We get it. We are going through it, or HAVE gone through it. We get all the emotions you are going through, and will be. We have gone through the court situations, the tears, and fears. We all hurt for each other.

Mine is home after 3.5 years, but those were the worst times of my life, but these wonderful people helped me get through it, and I am not leaving them now.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I've only been on this site for a couple of days but I've already had so many kind words said to me. The people on here are awesome. Just remember that you're not alone. We're all going through the same thing and things will turn around for all of us. Good luck to you and your husband :)

Thank you girls so much. Yeah people dont understand what we're going through but I am so glad that I have joined this group. Just reading everything for the past couple months helps me. But honestly the move this weekend feels like a set back for me cuz I feel week and that I can't handle this. If I was able to talk to him or see him it would help. Sometimes I feel like I'm going onto depression but i think about him and how I need to be strong for him. I know i would feel different if he did something to deserve it bit he was just defending himself and only cuz he has a past he had to suffer through this. I wish I could take it away go back to that day and change things.

The pain is fresh and that's always the worse, hope you don't have to go through this long. It's been six years nearly and it's still very painful at times. But, visits will help tremendously. It's great to see how they're doing and to be able to talk and laugh with them although times are tough. Write when you get the chance and get your phone set up for his calls. That will help. And remember they are not physically here with you everyday but always in your heart and you have to hold on to those moments you do hear from them or see them. Take care and good luck!

Ya he got 10 years with 80% but his parents hired an attorney for the appeal....wish we would have hired her first, but we didn't think it would be like this. Especially for defending himself. You have three people hit you and your not supposed do anything but just stand there and get the crap beat out of you?

I am so sorry you have to go through this. Your emotions and what you are feeling are normal, of course, but that does not make it any easier. Good for you to appeal. Is it on the grounds of inadequate representation? Did he have a public defender and did the case go to trial or was he offered a Plea Deal? Ask the attorney to address the "Stand Your Ground" law. If he was attacked, anyone would have defended themselves. Were there any witnesses that could confirm self defense? I do know about priors and a criminal history, even if that was over 14 years ago. They pay too much attention to the past. Good luck and come back here often for help and advice. It has helped me a lot, and I should be more active on this site, but I am busy writing letters, visiting, working full time, and trying to live every day. Keep us posted on your appeal.

We had a public defender and she only put his dad on the stand but there was 6 of us that witnessed it. The attorney his parents hired hasn't gone to talk to him yet until she reads the whole trial. I told her everything. The DA offered a plea of 7 years but we took it to trial cuz that was not right. And yeah he had a prior from 2007 that's why they wouldn't dismiss it... Otherwise they would have. That's what makes it hurt so bad Yeah he made mistakes in the past and plead guilty and did his time but he didn't do this like they said and that's why we fought. It just doesn't make sense.

Just sending you a hug RolnBren, and hoping your heartache subsides.
Living in the present moment as much as I can remember to helps me. If you want to give it a try in case it helps you too. :)

Awww thank you so much Jesh....Yes I will try that. It just drives me crazy when I think about how he was here now hes not and how sad I get that we are physically not together how it was taken away in the blink of an eye and for what? .....nothing

Unfortunately, a lot of things happen in the blink of an eye. An accident, a soldier getting hurt or killed in the war, a health diagnosis that was not expected, etc. At least, he is alive and will have you to support him. Humans are very strange at how they can adapt to difficult situations. It is so hard to seem our LOs gone, but we can find ways to make it easier for all of us, and that keeps me going. I get excited about a 3 minute phone call, I look forward to the weekend visits behind glass. Why? Because that is all I have for now, and I take it. I also send him letters daily, and I always try to include a page of either math problems, quotes, song lyrics, etc, just to stay creative. It makes me feel good to write and to know that he will have something to read and something to do, even if it is just for a little while. Hang in there. We all understand 100%. Hugs.

Yeah I think its so hard cuz hes in recepetion right now and can't call and I'm still waiting for the visitation approval so I can go visit him. ... behind glad for now but I will take anything at this point. He's been in reception since February 14 th and they say it usually takes between 90 and 120 days. I'm just holding on for the contract visits doi can hold him. . It's been since Jan 16 since o got to hold him and kiss him.

Sorry I meant behind glass

I'm sorry you're going through this. Everyone here is missing someone or has been through this, and you will find a lot of kindness and support. I know not seeing him must be so hard. Do what you can to stay connected- look at his pictures, read any letters you might have, and write to him. He is missing you, too. Love is so much stronger than any walls that are between you right now- just hold on tight and try to stay focused on the day he is coming home to you. That day is coming.
:)