Hi Julie. I'm sorry to read that you are struggling. This is a very challenging situation, but you are in a good place here, among people who understand. Although I am not in Indiana, I have been through a long (9 1/2 months) wait while my loved one was in county awaiting sentencing. It was very, very hard. There should be a chaplain that you can talk to who can visit your son and let you know how he is.
There is a website called prisontalk.com with an extensive list of topics including some specific to each state. Maybe you can find some support there.
Sending you and your son love and good thoughts.

Hey iam sorry you doing it hard this isn't fun or really easy (ive just done 4 years waiting for my love) yes its a good place hear we all help each other no matter where we are (iam in Australia!) Yes you will get a bit of info from prison talk havr a look at the area his in on there they should have something.

Thank you both..its a hard pill to swallow...he committed a crime against people I love...right across the street and still so fresh...I struggle everyday...he messaged me today saying the isolation is getting hard and he will probably be in county another yr before sentencing..he suffers mental issues..Im lost and feel I have nobody who fully understands...ugh !! His time will probably be in isolation the whole time and that's not good with his issues...the mind is his worst enemy...I just cant move on like people tell me to do...I am a victim in this also...thanks for listening

His your son no matter what he did!
Iam sorry that he has mental health problems and doing what they are doing can make it worse for him. Keep writing to him if you can it will help him a bit to know someone still cares for him.

My son too has been in the county jail for 9 mo. now. Seems like the people around you are often times the ones who understand your situation the least. I have gotten advice to 'get over it' since there is nothing I can do about it. Right, I'm sure I will get over it the day they plant me in the ground. That is your child, a part of your soul. The only thing I can offer you right now is to see if there are things they will allow you to do for him like writing or sending books, and in the meantime, try to find ways to distract yourself for even short periods of time. Take care of yourself. Eat and sleep well to keep up your strength. Don't feel you have to tell everyone what happened. There are people in my family that don't know my son is in jail. Those who need to know will find out at the necessary time. You also don't need to apologize for him You didn't do anything. I hope you are able to find someone you can trust to lean on while you get your bearings. It is a difficult journey. Many of us here have been through similar experiences, and we understand the devastating feelings. Hang in there, you will learn to navigate your way around. Come back and visit often. It does help. Wishing you and your son the best.
Misty

Something for you mums the next time someone has a go at you about standing by your son's. Tell or ask them that you caryed him for 9 months watch him grow, picked him up when he triped, help them though school and was there for the good and bad no matter what and that his your flesh and blood and how are you supposed to walk away and could they do it if it was there son?

I am from Wisconsin. Minnesota originally. Fiance is in prison for 16 more months. Been in 7 already. Seems forever. Probation violation. Was home 10 months and was in 3.5 years before that. I hate this. It is sad, lonely and frustrating.

My son was in about 4 years ago, he did 4 years. That was hard too, but different because I didn't live with him anymore. The day to day loneliness gets to me.

My son is now doing really good, except he is sick a lot. Don't know why. You name it, he has it. I am not sure if there is something really wrong with him, or he is a bit of a hypochondriac. I don't think so.

I hope you get through this ok. I know how hard it is. Stay on here, these great people do understand and they do care about all of us. They are going through the same things.

Hi Julie - I'm from Cleveland, OH. Being a guy I tend to be more left brained and direct than most here. What I'm going to say is going to sound trite and impossible but you need to first and foremost focus on keeping yourself healthy and strong! You are job #1 - not your son.

My brother is incarcerated and I have two incarcerated pen pals, one is on death row. Nothing is more stressful to those on the inside then learning of failing health or some other calamity for those they care about on the outside. Like you, they are almost powerless. Taking care of YOU is job #1 because it is the best long term gift you can give your son! Easy to say, but very hard to do. I get it!

I wasn't exceptionally close to my brother but we spoke on a monthly basis and saw each other at family events. There were no hard feelings between us; we just had very little in common. We would however exchange random calls/text/email when one of us would see, hear, eat something that evoked a flashback from our childhood. I miss those random conversations that always started with, "hey remember.." I still get the flashback memories at times and where they were once a source of joy they only serve to break my heart again when I realize I can't grab my smartphone to share it.

It's not like a death which heals over time. You are job #1. I know you know this, but knowing and doing are worlds apart! You really need to work on mental health. See a counselor. There is no shame in seeking professional help to cope! Call Catholic Charities (you don't need to be Catholic) or United Way. They can put you in touch with either free or very low cost help.

You are job #1. Make it a priority for your son!

Thank you for replying...this is my therapy besides taking care of my granddaughter...my sons child...who is 3..