Its different for everyone its not so much that it gets easier its more of a case it becomes a new sort of normal.
Right now its kinda like your moring a death it sucks and if you feel like you cant move past this bit please talk to your doctor.
Just know that this is doable....i did it for over 4 years and the very start of this is the worst.

You've got to breathe or you're going to drive yourself bat s**t crazy as he's only been gone a week and you have 3 years to go. Trust me I used to spazz out big time if I didn't get his weekly letter, not good for any of us!

You say your family is trying to help,let them! You're not alone. I have no family (except my 3 yr old/not his bio kid) and he has no family except for a sister that doesn't give 2 s**ts about him! You have your kids and you're only failing them because you feel like you're failing yourself. They need you now more than ever in learning to cope with their dad not being home for awhile.

You asked when does it get easier, as Sl said everyone's situation is different, however you've got to breathe and tell yourself for the next 3 years you're going to be mom/dad and that it's not your fault that he's in there; yes there's been at least one time I'm sure all of us has asked ourselves the what if this/that and the other questions or they'd be home with us.

Write him a LOT, send cards/pictures, if you can visit, visit ( I wish I could see mine regularly) and watch out for the phone calls because they get very expensive. Ask if his facility offers calling cards; yeah you won't be able to talk all that often but that's an expense you won't have to worry about.

You can do this, At least you know it's only 3 years, there are some on here who are still playing the waiting game not knowing how long their partners are getting or like me I have awhile before that wonderful day of his freedom!

Hang in there!

Not much I can add to this conversation other than to second what everyone else has said. I've been in this situation for going on three months now and I can't really say that it gets easier so much as you get used to it. This life is my "new normal." When it's hard for me, I have to remind myself that it's hard for him as well. Support groups like this one help quite a lot because they remind you you're not alone in this situation. Strength in numbers, I guess.

My husband of 16 years just left 2 weeks ago. we have 2 kids. i still feel like jello i have no idea what to do. we did everything together. Im happier i found this place and i hope it gets easier for you.

For me My hubby is,waiting to be sentenced and its only gotten more difficult. the waiting is the,worse. We just had a baby in August whom he has never met. we are asking the judge to sentence him to 2 years in county jail instead of prison so he can at least see his daughter via Huber and child care. but we know that is a stretch even tho he would do more time in jail than prison he is scared. And the thought of .missing out on his only child kills him and I wonder most days how Iam going to do this for 2 more years.... every day is a struggle at least now we talk daily and when he leaves for prison that will be different at least during processing. god bless all you wifes/ partners/ and children going through this. it's hell on earth.

I believe you will eventually learn to compartmentalize your emotions. The loss and longing for him will be there until he returns, however you will learn to toss this situation into a little box in your brain and temporarily forget it in order to get on with the important business of living your life and taking care of your children. You are already doing this for other things in your life. For example if you have ever felt a profound loss of a loved one through death (for me it was a father) you eventually learned not to dwell on that all day long every day. You still feel profound loss but you manage not to think about it all the time. It will happen naturally, but knowing that's what you're shooting for might help.

Best wishes. I'm an adult who's father did a dime when I was a small child. Your children need you. The thing you probably don't yet understand is that you need them as well, especially if they are his children. They are your strongest link to the man you love right now.