Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
This experience has taught me something very valuable about myself...
I can wrangle a husband and a teenage girl with mental issues on a daily basis. I can pay the bills on my own..barely..but I can do it. I can get an MBA at night after my kids are asleep. I can go to work, do my job, and please my boss into a very nice upcoming raise...
I can be the single mom..the married but alone woman, however...
I can't mow my own yard. I've never had to. I don't know anything about the mower. I did managed to light the pilot on the water heater on my own with the help of youtube but other than that...with all my education and intelligence...I don't know how to mow the yard. It's not like I can't learn (obviously the yard isn't going to mow itself) but the thought never occurred to me before now. It's a little humbling.
This experience is teaching me all that I don't know...and the list is long and growing. It's also teaching me a new appreciation for the things my husband did that I never really acknowledged.
It's easy to list his faults...the list is almost endless. He's aggravating, draining, frustrating...I could go on and on but without him here to blind me with frustration, exhaustion, and anger...I am seeing the positives I never saw before. It's good to be reminded from time to time that his negatives are far from all he is.
I can wrangle a husband and a teenage girl with mental issues on a daily basis. I can pay the bills on my own..barely..but I can do it. I can get an MBA at night after my kids are asleep. I can go to work, do my job, and please my boss into a very nice upcoming raise...
I can be the single mom..the married but alone woman, however...
I can't mow my own yard. I've never had to. I don't know anything about the mower. I did managed to light the pilot on the water heater on my own with the help of youtube but other than that...with all my education and intelligence...I don't know how to mow the yard. It's not like I can't learn (obviously the yard isn't going to mow itself) but the thought never occurred to me before now. It's a little humbling.
This experience is teaching me all that I don't know...and the list is long and growing. It's also teaching me a new appreciation for the things my husband did that I never really acknowledged.
It's easy to list his faults...the list is almost endless. He's aggravating, draining, frustrating...I could go on and on but without him here to blind me with frustration, exhaustion, and anger...I am seeing the positives I never saw before. It's good to be reminded from time to time that his negatives are far from all he is.
I miss him for many reason. Like the normal ones. But also for the car repairs that keep happening, and he is a mechanic. He can guide me to as what may be wrong, tell me who to go to. Tell me what it might be and not let these repair guys lead me down a path they know is not the problem just to make more money off me.
He is telling me how to pressure wash the deck and stain it next. This is something I would of never done if he was home.
I am determined this time he is in, to not let things go, to fix things, to make money and make a good life for when he is home.
I am planning a trip for the first two weeks he is home. It isn't a reward for him. It is what we both need to get " reacquainted".
I need it too.
We may complain and think this is all unfair, and some of it is. But that won't help us get stronger in every way together when he gets home.
We started out our relationship with impromptu, unplanned trips. And this is what we will do again. To start fresh.
Jobs can wait a few weeks. We have a few good years left to work. How we handle his first weeks home will set the tone for the future. And in those few weeks we may just finally get married. Not a grand wedding. Just us. Somewhere private and special. We talked about Vegas, or other places. I would be happy doing it in a corn field about now.