I get to see Michael once or twice a year. He's almost 6 hours away. We don't really talk about visits....and I won't tell him that I'm thinking about planning one unless I've got the days off and I'm on my way down. I won't get his hopes up--only to wreck them if something changes. Michael only threatens to take people off his visit list if he's really depressed and is thinking about cutting out all of the outside world (which just happened recently) He's never actually done it though. He knows that it would get him nowhere.

Right. I mean that makes sense with him being so close. Mine is a little over an hour away and his dad won't mind me riding with him some of the time. He loves the support so he wouldn't cut out the outside all together, but he has to have realistic expectations of everyone.

I can only afford to see my man once a month he gets that and what I've done is marked the dates that I will be there off on my rdo calenderso he knows when iI will be there. My man is over 4 hours away and he sees any extra visits as a bonus....it's also the way we count down our time.
Site down talk to him about what you can afford to do as fair as going to see him gos his gotta understand just coz your not there all the timedosnt mean you ddon't care about him.

My husband is 5 1/2 hours away. The first month, I visited every Sunday. But, now I go every other Sunday due to the cost involved, plus I work 6 days a week and I need that day off every other week to get things done at home. I don't like it, but I am just grateful that I am able to go twice a month, and so is he! Finding the right balance isn't easy, and you have to remember that he has nothing but time to think about everything. Their minds wander. :(

To me, He always comes first I put him before any plans etc So i see him every week! I think he would be a mess if i didnt.

Thanks ladies! I want to stay consistent I know that's what he needs. Wow some of you have pretty far drives!

yeah, for me to visit Michael, I try to go so I can visit 2 days in a row. that involves 3 days off work, 2 nights in a hotel, and reliable transportation. If I go with his mom (using her car) it's $200-250. that's hard for me to put together. it takes extensive planning. He'd love to see me, but at the same time, he knows the stress on me--so he'd rather have me put money on the phone...and do a visit when I can.

sclark8989 is your man incarcerated close by?

Yes yvonda. I live in Queensland, Australia. So its a smallish town so he is only 30 minutes away. I know its harder for people further away, and i feel for you. I consider myself blessed to have him so close.

I fly from Kansas City to Florida twice a year for a four-day visit. With two travel days, that's six days all together. I work weekends at a hospital, picking up extra shifts when I can, so I really only have to take two days off, but now that I have to find another job, how do I tell them that I'm going to Florida in June? I don't want that to be a dealbreaker, but I've already paid the airfare.

He's really about a little over an hour away from me so it's not terrible but 30 minutes would be ideal!

I set an expectation of when I can visit (every other week), and I plan my life around that. If something comes up and I can't visit that week, then I let him know and I go visit the following week. For me, it's an all day trip, leaving the house at 5a and getting home around 6 or 7pm.

My guy has grown inpatient and a little ill w/ me b/c I have not visited him yet. I've been approved for @ a month now. I asked him if he was mad, and he said why would i stay mad, it's not going to do me any good. It makes me feel horrible. I guess it's a little selfish of me to want to do my first visit with him, just being me and him. I don't think many people get this. My 1st visit is this Sat. w/ his family, his mom, dad, grandma, aunt. I'm already nervous and scared @ it. By the way, I have not seen him yet due that i have car problems, and almost no $.

lalahester- I completely understand. Gas is expensive and if it weren't for my father in law I would not be visiting him soon either. I can see both sides though, for them their time is slower and more than 2 weeks without you visiting is a long time to them where for us that goes by fast. All I do is explain what I had going on that was more important than visiting that weekend. He gets crabby about it, but I can't put me or my son's entire life on hold to visit him in prison. If I don't take care of myself then I won't be well enough to visit write or help him get on this side of the the prison wall. I just always say I will make it up there as often as possible. Point blank, end of story. He can always count on the letters though. If he wants mail everyday I can provide that no problem.