Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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throughthickandthin 05/15/2017

So my boyfriend has been in jail about a month and a half now. At first it seemed almost impossible to do this but now I'm feeling a little better. I have developed my own routine and I've been communicating with him as much as possible. It's expensive but I've just cut back on other expensives that aren't all that important. No need to get my nails done if my man's locked up haha

So besides working a lot I've been writing him a lot of letters however I've ran out of things to write about. I wrote him an erotic story about him and I hahahaha oh boy did he enjoy that HAHA! I made him a crossword with questions all about me to see if he could answer them correctly haha I've written tons of letters talking about him and I and life and such. I have also sent tons of pictures, music lyrics and poems. I'm running out of creative ideas of things to write about to him... if anyone has any ideas I'd love to hear them! I'm open to pretty much anything.

This has been really hard trying to have a relationship with him while he's locked up. His lawyer said that he may only be doing 10-16 months but we don't know forsure until he gets sentenced. I don't want to get my hopes up. I know his case isn't the worst case out there however his past isn't the best so he defiently has that going against him. I'm just trying to stay positive and focused on myself. I hate how everything is so unknown. I think that's what is bothering me the most. Once we have an idea of when he'll be released then we can finally make plans and start looking forward to something. This not knowing thing I feel is the hardest part of this whole thing... that and the fact that I can't see him in person the jail he's in only does video visits and the connection is horrible.

he has a public defender for a lawyer - his case is federal. I have been trying to find him a new lawyer however the retainers are all $5,000+ and they wont do a payment plan of any sort. I'm hoping his public defender is a good one. It feels like he doesn't pay much attention to his case but I don't know much about these things. He just barely got his discovery the other day. I just hope things work out for him and sooner the better!

Lastly does anyone know anything about medical care in the federal system? I need some advice on that if someone could message me I have a few questions about that.

I just can't wait for this to be over so we can start our life together..... I keep telling myself that the time will go by quickly and before I know it he will be back home with me bugging me day in and day out like he always used to. hahaha Oh i miss him even when he got on my nerves.. I miss everything.

gregsbaby 05/15/2017

Girl now you know it's still important to get your nails done if that was always part of your normal routine. Yes it's great you talk to him as much as possible I'm assuming on the phone, however like I always tell people a book of stamps/notebooks/envelopes goes a mighty long way. And to me I feel there's more of a connection/intimacy (yes intimacy doesn't always mean doing the horizontal hula) by letters, but hey that's me :) :)

Ah yes the public defender or as most people call them public "pretender". Really they don't give 2 s**ts about their clients because they're getting paid irregardless; sad but true 99% of the time. Not trying to be a beyatch but you're looking for an expensive lawyer why exactly? He got himself into trouble, not you so why should you try to bail him out? I love my fiance to the moon and back and then some, but he did the crime not me, besides we're already paying too because they're locked up,ijs.

As for more ideas, do you send him cards? They don't have to be the expensive ones, just go to your local Dollar Tree or whatever dollar store and pick some out. You can still talk about the future before his sentencing; Yes the waiting game does suck but you just got to hang in there.

Rew would be the person to ask about medical care stuff. He usually pops in every so often or you can send him a pm.

saltyninja 05/15/2017

I feel you on that whole not knowing thing and that whole public defender that doesn't actually give a crap. That's kind of where I'm sitting too.
But we have to have faith that it will get easier. I mean, it has to right?

throughthickandthin 05/15/2017

Yeah I agree it has to get better from here.... I think once we know how much time he's looking at things will be much easier. We actually just got off the phone talking about that hahah

throughthickandthin 05/15/2017

I didn't think you could send cards in the mail? Yeah I shouldn't buy him a lawyer and he prob doesnt need one his case isn't that serious hes not looking at years or anything. Just sucks. Yes I'm going to get my nails done Friday haha I need a fill badly! Yes we send letters often as well I just like to be creative with my letters.... like how I did the crossword about me and the sex story and I also did a list of questions and answers and stuff idk I'm running out of ideas!

Suchaslife 05/15/2017

Yes you can send cards check with the prison his in for there rules on it. For us it was no crads with anything stuck on it including guitar and it had to be just a card with no extra paper in it......so the cheaper ones worked well.
But as always check with the prison every place has different rules.

gregsbaby 05/15/2017

Yes you can send cards. You just have to make sure they're in a white envelope. Also no glitter, the big ones that fold a few times, or musical ones. Just pretty much plain, but there's so many the possibilities are endless. I'm creative too with letters. Also there are plenty of websites where you can print love quizzes and things.

eyedeekay 05/16/2017

I know we have been waiting 5 months and still don't know whats happening, the system is slow af so prepare for not knowing for awhile.Prepare yourself for not knowing for awhile since this is what is happening to us and we still have another 2 months until we will probably know anything. i know its hard but i have learned how to just settle in for not knowing at least for the time being it sucks because once we know we can plan but until then you just have to take it day by day. Our jail doesn't let us send cards so make sure you check with the mailing rules! I like sending my guy song lyrics he really likes getting that and also if i find cool articles that he would be interested in reading i print them off for him.

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