Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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/ Families of Prisoners Support Group

Trust

poohbay
poohbay

Ugh so my guy has been acting real crazy. So we're talking last night and he gets a attitude, hangs up. Calls back and tells me to find someone else. Calls back and apologies says he didn't mean that. And we talk through what's bothering him. Then he calls back later on and tells me he thinks I have someone else. That there's no way I don't text, talk, or something with anyone else. No way that all I do is take care of our son and wait for him to call me. I told him this really offended me because obviously he doesn't trust me. Like I always tell him when some guy messages me or something. Mainly to beat him to the punch because he will ask me. I completely understand that men in these situations have doubts and worries. But I've never given him a reason to not trust me. I don't even know what to do about this. I mean I can't make him trust me. I know he's just frustrated. And I know he'll call today and apologize. It's just so frustrating dealing with this. 

LadyJay
LadyJay
When my cousin was in he would do that to his wife.... I think a lot of times it's because they feel like if the shoe was on the other foot they wouldn't be able to make it without sex and attention.... men fail to realize that a woman who loves her men will do everything in her power to be there for her man. Just keep reassuring him! Best wishes to you in your situation! Positive thoughts and vibes your way!
Sneshinka
Sneshinka
Just keep reassuring him .. i dont know anything else for that one. My husband and I never really had that issue. I have many guy friends and he has girlfriends... and to be in a healthy relationship u need to have both guys and girls as friends. He needs to understand you love him and not going anywhere.
brandnewangel
brandnewangel
There are people in prison who will get in some people heads and convince them their wife,gf,etc are cheating and there a saying idle hands are devil workshop... my guy never thought that til we broke up then said I was going out with all these guys...I basically told him where he can go...
poohbay
poohbay
@LadyJay yeah I know that plays a part. Men just can't fathom someone actually being that faithful. But your right. Most women don't have a problem being faithful to their men. Thanks for the positive vibes.
poohbay
poohbay
@sneshinka I guys different people handle things different. You were lucky to not have to deal with this. I always try to reassure him. It's just kinda annoying.
poohbay
poohbay
@brandnewangel yeah I know. And I know he's had a few people tell him things like that before. I really think that's what it is now. Because this just came out of nowhere. I hate that people do that. Like just because their situation didn't work is no reason to down talk another's.
Sneshinka
Sneshinka
@poohbay I hope he comes around and sees that you are trust full and he has nothing to worry about.
poohbay
poohbay
@sneshinka thanks me too
poohbay
poohbay
Update: so we made up. Or so I thought. Then he got mad about I don't know what. And broke up with me last night. But he's been calling all day. I know he probably regrets saying that and will eventually apologize. Usually I'd have tried to talk him through this. But I'm so stressed right now. I have a lot of other things going on (family issues, health scares, trying to find a permanent job. I graduate with my bachelors in accounting in May). I'm tired of arguing and the back n forth. I still love him and want to get married. I just can't be stressing myself out. I'm just gonna let him see how it feels to not have me.
rock6531
rock6531
I don't understand them. He does the same thing. Constantly asks if I'm going to leave him. Then on another hand gets upset when I'm not cheerie and happy. It's hard out here damn it! I just want to say to him, must be nice to sleep, write letters and play dominoes. But I don't. He hurt my feelings last night. Part of me doesn't want to answer his call tonight.
poohbay
poohbay
Yeah a lot of their actions are a little off. Like your scared of losing me, so you'll just push me away. Exactly. He'll ask why I sound so down. Like I'm tired. I'm out here caring for our son by myself. Oh my feelings were crushed several times this weekend. I only answered two calls yesterday. And that's only because I know he wanted to be sure we made it home safe from out of town. For whatever reason it's like they take their frustration out on us. And I guess it's because we're the ones that are there. It just sucks for us.
LadyJay
LadyJay
@poohbay yea sometimes I think that's true too. They need to be mad at something sometimes. But he still shouldn't take it out on you. We are doing the best we can to hold it down out here. Hopefully one of these days he'll understand and get it together. Congrats on graduating as well.
Sneshinka
Sneshinka
I am here for you guys... my guy is almost out from doing workrelease may 5th...
but I been thru a lot with mine as well. This was him taking care of very old stuff from 2006 this one was 7.5 month, other one was in prison for 5 yrs before this one. But we were at two different states .. anyways i am just saying you need to take care of yourselves and do whats best for you. Our relationship wasn't perfect ... but we made thru all the storms in the sea... but two people have to want to make it work , its not easy and takes a lot of hard work. We been married almost 3 yrs and together almost 12 yrs. So i am here for anyone who wants to private message me on here.
poohbay
poohbay
@LadyJay yeah it's crazy. I'm like why hurt me, it's not remotely my fault your locked up. You did that all on your own. I'm doing my best to support/love you. We did talk and make up. But I did tell him that it's not right to take his frustrations out on me. Thanks. Graduation will be pretty bittersweet since he won't be there. But I'm just trying to get used to that.
poohbay
poohbay
@sneshinka thanks. Yeah this is definitely not for the weak at heart. I can say that our communication is pretty great. I mean yeah he was bugging this weekend but I knew he'd eventually want to talk through it. We know that communication is very important and that we have to work at our relationship. Which is true even in regular relationships. They take work. But thanks. And that's great. I hope this is you guys finally go round with this.