Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

1,470 Members
7,146 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Families of Prisoners Support Group

They just "DON"T UNDERSTAND"

Mamabear59
Mamabear59
Need to let some steam off, but all may not understand my madness, and I don't want to upset any one. My husband called last night, SAID" OH HERE WE GO AGAIN". I tried to commit suicide twice throughout the 14 years we have been together, I speak about it, but made a promise to myself not to ever try it again. They "DON"T UNDERSTAND" they say that they "DO" understand, but they don't. He always tells me stop feeding into my daughter when she wants to start a arguement, yeh, ok, and they complain about things, like no money, he does not ask any more, shoe why should he?????

They have a free "ROOF", over their heads, we don't. They get 3 square meals a day, I don't, I'm diabetic and never eat right, can't afford to.Went to welfare once, ask for food stamps, they said I make to much on my SSD check, and that he needs to supply spousal support, "WHAT A FU#$ING joke. This was Clinton changes already, they get all medications for free, free doctor visits, maybe not the best health care, but I surely don't have the best health care out here. I need to see a pain manegmant doctor, "I CAN"T", they pay no bills, dam I could own 2 homes on what I paid out on phone bills in this world of make believe. Its my reality that I live in a small one bedroom apartment with my daughter, her man, my 2 grandsons, its my rality that I'm trying to keep my head above the high waters, its my reality that both my grown kids are verbably nasty at times to me, thanks to their drunken biological father, I can't get out, I CAN"T AFFORD IT.

I love him to death, but he just does not understand, "I"M ALREADY DEAD INSIDE", I exsist, don't care if tomorrow comes or not...Their not the only ones that are suffering and going through hell, what about us? "WHAT ABOUT US"?
Lynn
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mamabear, are you upset because you feel your husband is not being sympathetic towards your situation?
Mamabear59
Mamabear59
NO HE UNDERSTANDS< BUT THERE IS "ABSOLUTLY NOTHING HE CAN DO ABOUT IT"! I'm just upset over my daughter, yeh at times I shove it in his face, "Do you really understand"? What good does it do, he is just a lost number in the dam system. Its just at times I feel that they get more then we do, although I know they have it just as difficult in there but in other ways.,Like when he calls, I joke, how is your prison cell today, and visa versa, I feel at times I am on lock down with no where to go. I did not ask to be this dependent on any one, I hate it, but I have learned or at least tried to learn to live with it. I miss not being able to work.I'll bable on all day, better end here for now.
Lynn
deleted_user
deleted_user
I want to SCREAM with you! Life can really suck at times. Just like you had said before that this must be hell here on earth. But guess what, it would be really hell without you for your daughter, husband and family. Who would be there to support them? I know how you feel about being dead inside, but this post sounds like you still have a lot of spunk and spirit. Use that as your strength. I'm on your side. Please take care of yourself. Sheryl
jody0385
jody0385
I don't know you or your story... So my suggestions are just basic really... Your daughter AND HER MAN??? live there too? I sure hope they are helping out financially AND around the house too. If not then they need to. That would take some burden off your shoulders.. If she's adult enough to have a "man" living there then he needs to be a "man" and get a job and help pay some bills.

Sorry if I read your post wrong, but that's just my first response.

I hope it gets easier for you. In a sense you are a single parent right now, and I can totally relate on how hard that is.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I understand about feeling dead inside. James gets mad when I talk about being depressed. He doesn't get it. He thinks cause I'm outside the prison life is grand. Well it's not. I'd be homeless if my brother and sister were not here. I can't seem to find job no one wants to hire me because of why I'm on probation. According to the welfare office I make too much money. I have no F***ing income so how can I make too much. Because they go by everyone's income who is on the lease. Real fair right. I also have no healthcare. I can't even afford to take my daughter to "free clinic" because they charge $20 a visit. You think the state would have more compassion for people in our situations. The healthcare and justice system here in the states need serious makeovers.
Mamabear59
Mamabear59
You got that right, the states/government really suck. I live with them in a one bedroom apartment, very long story. I just lost my home in May after 29 years, could not afford it, took my step son in, he was so dam dysfuntional,angry, this is all my 1st husbands fault. I believe we don't get along because we are steping on each others toes, we can't afford a different spot right now, they just bought a car, high payment, car insurance, their other car was on its last leg.I'm just so angry inside at times. Our loved ones have a heck of a lot handed to them, what about "US"? They will never be homeless, never be with out a roof, etc.etc. I'm only spasing cause my moms death aniversary is coming up, I spass every year at this time. Thanks for listening.
Lynn
deleted_user
deleted_user
i understand some of whats going on first off if everyone that is over the age 16 needs to be working to help out then yall are to close in a small house tell them to get lost for a day to give you some alone time then im not sure about your state try looking for a place called M.H.M.R.they can help some with mental problems and if you cant pay they still help you let me know how things work out
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think that we are fortunate to have our freedom - freedom in every respect. Our loved one's may be viewed as having it "easy" by having a roof over their head and a meal on the table, but I would not view this as a glamorous lifestyle or be envious of their situation. They have to have permission for everything they do and certainly do not have freedom of speech without the threat of the hole or a ticket. So, as hard as it gets sometimes "out here", I would never change spots for a minute. I value my feedom in every respect!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know the feeling all TOO well. We die and become a cold piece of coal. Yeah, we'll smile and look like we mean it, however our insides are nothing more than twisted. The strength we must pull out of us just to wake up in the mornings and face another BS day without the damb as% around- no, they don't understand. I don't care what they say. However, do you understand him? Turn the tables and try to imagine what they are going through. You can take a drive to the store for some milk- they can't. You can look at your children when they look sweet sleeping (and not cussing you out) and he can't. You can pick up the phone anytime and talk as long as you want- he can't. Yeah, they can see a dentist there- trust me, you wouldn't want to go to that dentist- even if he paid you. Go into your bathroom and stay there for the next six months only coming out for about an hour each day to watch TV or call someone- then you'll understand him too. Yeah- jail really sounds like a place I want to be! Sometimes we feel stuck, and 9/10 we are, however look at the positive side of each situation- enjoy what you DO have and make the best of it- its the only way we will feel UNSTUCK! I wish you the best and I really do understand 100%.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are right, they dont always understand. They dont have to worry about the same things we do however I believe they sugar coat a lot of whant they do have to worry about for us. And we do the same and then tend to get frustrated at least I do. Hang in there! I wish I had answers but I know you just need to vent. And you are justified. Its hard making it out here and our kids are a royal pain at times!!!! And when night comes, we are still sleeping alone.