Wow, I know how you feel! I was just sitting here feeling lost because the day has been too quiet. I forget people can't keep me entertained every day for the next couple years. Weekends were special for us too: he liked cooking breakfast for me, coffee at our favorite co-op, quiet walks together. I guess we need to hang in there, support our guys because they don't have the luxury of running out to the store or coffee shop for distraction. I try to remind myself I still have my freedom to come and go. Plus I can pick up the phone or go online and chat with a friend. Sometimes reminding ourselves might help us not linger so long on our "poor me".

My hub used to wake up one of the kids and they go grab donuts and coffee and my cup would be waiting for me when I wake up....I miss him too. He is my soulmate, and no one can ever replace him.

I still miss our weekends.....lazy days or going shopping or just haveing a few drinks with mates...sigh.
Just remember those days will come back to us all and as each day ends its a day closer to them comeing home where they belong.

Weekends were our " escape" times. We would just get in the car and drive til we felt like stopping. We would find a motel, go out, have fun, fish, shop, go to auctions, etc. Then the arrest. I virtually became a recluse for awhile, layed and cried, walked and walked, crying. Then I decided to stop it. It wasn't helping either of us. I started being with my granddaughter, who can make anyone smile and laugh. I started somewhat living again. I then had things to tell him. He could live vicariously through my experiences. I felt guilty if I had any fun at all, but he didn't want that.

I never went off on wild weekends of fun, but I learned to keep busy and live. You have to. It also makes them feel better. They don't need to worry about our sanity.

Added to the problem was I lost my job. So I really had nowhere to be, and no money to go anywhere. I then cried more, and fortunately met 2 wonderful elderly neighbors who adopted me. Had me for dinner, made me laugh. and they helped me survive too.

You have to find something to do to make the pain less for a few hours a day. Nights are lonely, days are long. But you can get through this. It just doesn't seem like it now.

Mine is home now, and thank god. I hated life for 3 years, now I love it. Still not rich, still not doing anything terribly exciting, but he is home, and it is wonderful. I tell you that because you need to know that this does end. I sure didn't think it ever would.

Take pictures of things, and send them to him. If you get a dent in the car, send a pic, ask his advice about things that you need to make decisions on, send articles from the paper in your community of things that would interest him. Keep him feeling like he is still knowing what's happening in the world he lived in.

I enjoyed reading your reply wisconsin. Good tips for us all! After being single mom for years and haing doctors on my case to spend time on myself, D and my friends are telling me this is the time for me to do that. Since visits are on weekends, I'm thinking of kinda making the weekends "my" time-might help after seeing D. I do understand the money thing-I am just now allowed to return to work, so we gotta get creative ladies. :) Happy t hear your guy is home though-congrats!

I'm stubborn. I admit it. I have heard a lot of great advice in these posts from many of you. I am sure you are all very tired of hearing me whine and complain. I have nothing to complain about. He is the one in jail. I should be doing what I need to do and not crying and complaining of his loss. I guess this is just so much to deal with that I continually see no end to the very real problem of him being away from me. The worst is that I only got one letter and one short call. I need to hear from him more and I think that will calm my nerves. This organization of getting things in place sucks. It is worst for those that are not considered family. My tears aren't helping him. I know that. But I feel so unable to do anything about it. I try to live on but I can't. I wait at home knowing he will not be coming in the door. I wait by the phone... hoping he'll call... I sit at the computer trying to find odd side jobs to do to help... Its like I'm in prison too... I just can't get out of it. No matter how I try.

cmorton, do not apologize for " whining". We all did it. We all felt what you are feeling It is normal. Keep WHINING until you don't feel like it anymore. We will always listen We did it, and sometimes still do.

Mine's been home about 3 weeks now, and of course it is all wonderful. But I am sure I will have times in awhile that he starts to irk me again. That's normal too. What couple doesn't piss and moan about each other? But when they are in prison, we seem to forget their irritating moments and only miss the good parts MAYBE just for shits and giggles you should sit and think about his irritating moments. Come on, you know he had them. They all do, they are MEN!!