Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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eyedeekay 04/27/2017

This past week or so i have become very depressed. I think all of this not knowing is getting to me. Almost 5 months in and still no answer as to what the heck he is going to get. On top of everyone asking me what im going to do, the maximum i think he can get is around 5 years..... the DA is being awful/playing games and arent offering any good deal, making it very likely that this will go to trail. Which sounds like trail is going to get pushed back a few months. ugh so much waiting and not knowing. I start to think how the heack am i going to make it if he gets the maximum. which wouldnt even make since, this is his first offince. The only good thing is he could beneift from Prop 57( califronia) since the precentage is being lowered to 80, and he could be able to get more time reduction by taking classes and what not... but ugh i just am so not sure how im going to make it through all of this. I knew i could make it if it was 2/3 years but i think hearing close to 5 is freaking me out and is alot more weight to carry.

Suchaslife 04/27/2017

This is the worst part of it. Once you know what is going on its a bit better.
Just remember he wont do the full 5 years if it comes to that you do get good time (we don't get that), time for the class (another thing we don't get time off for) and hopefully parole as well.
Just remember hope for the best but plan for the worst.

gregsbaby 04/27/2017

The waiting does suck and the "justice" system sucks big time because they take their sweet damn time about EVERYTHING! If I can wait for mine (10 more years) you can wait for yours!! Is it frustrating/stressful and everything in between, hell yeah it is, but just think it'll be so worth the wait!

eyedeekay 04/27/2017

I know i don't want anyone else, i mean i have already committed to him other wise i would have left when this first started. I just wasn't expecting it to potentially being this long, but at least I'm starting to understand what the worst would be for him. Im just struggling dealing with my thoughts and emotions. Im trying to remember that whatever he gets, he won't serve full time and so many things could still happen still sentencing, but I'm trying to plan for the worst just in case. Its hard dealing with the depression that has come from this

Suchaslife 04/27/2017

If the depression get to much please see your doctor about it.....dont do a me and just leave it for years. This is hardwork.

Sneshinka 04/29/2017

Hunny.. take care of yourself first.. if you cant take care of you first how are you suppose to be there for him. We did 5 yrs in two different states with visits. Its possible but it will take two people to do it. Of course encouragement from family and friends and support also help a lot.

eyedeekay 04/30/2017

Thank you both, i definitely am going to talk to my doctor and i am going to try and take care of myself more.

Zeus2017 05/12/2017

eyedeekay, I am in a similar situation to you with the waiting and not knowing. My boyfriend has been in jail 3.5 months and even though the lawyer has the discovery he hasnt finished looking at it and gone to see him. And it wont be until after he sees him that I will meet with the lawyer to find out what the evidence and the plan is moving forward. It sucks because he is on parole he cannot be bailed out. How private is this group/website? Will and DA or anything like that be able to use or find these written posts? I kind of doubt it but I am very paranoid because I have never been involved with the justice system personally. The current charge is vehicular homicide, very serious charge but am afraid to say anything else about it because I dont want to f$%k anything up for him.

Any advice would help, and just the support to know others are going through the same stuff is helpful.

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