Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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hismamma 12/22/2012

My son has been in county for 2 months. Not his first stint. It looks very positive that he will be going to prison. He currently has 5 charges against him. I went to see him yesterday and he was talking about the possibility of going to prison. He didn't seem too upset about it. I don't know if maybe that was just for my benefit. He talked about how if he's in prison, he can actually see his 10 month old daughter and how he can take classes and all kinds of other stuff like that. I try so hard not to be upset when I go see him, but when I leave from seeing him, it just kills me. The fact that he will be in jail for his daughter's first Christmas and possibly her first birthday tears me up. He already missed her first Thanksgiving and wasn't around for her first Halloween. She probably won't remember all that, but when she is older and sees pictures and he's not in them. Can it really be a good thing for him to go to prison? He is only 23 years old. The closes prison is about 3 hours from where I live.

deleted_user 12/22/2012

I really hope that your son will avoid the hell of prison. My son is currently serving 27 months. He also has a 10 month old child, a son, woes life he is missing. I suspect, that your son is trying to stay upbeat for you. I am so, so sorry you are going through this.

Suchaslife 12/22/2012

Iam sorry your going though this again. It dos sound like his being up beat to stop you from worrying so much. It also sounds like his trying to see the positive in him being locked up.
Hang in there and come on hear as much as you want there are lots of mums who are going though this. We all get how your feeling.

Daisyluv15 12/22/2012

I know it sounds crazy, but my fiance reasurred me in the beginning that so much would be better once he was sent to prison instead of Jail. Jail was terrible for him and from my understanding he has a lot more freedom in Prison than he did in jail. He can have far more personal items and can have real contact with his loved ones. We are from different states and I am not sure how things work in your state, but here in Wisconsin, he was starving in jail and now that he is in prison he can actual buy food that is affordable. Same goes for hygiene supplies, stamps and the phone calls. If this is not his first time, than maybe he knows the difference and is simular to what my fiance had expalined to me. I am sure it is heartbreaking for him to know he is going to miss all of those moments with his daughter and your family. I am so sorry you are all suffering. We do all understand and we are here for you.

smbr7996 12/22/2012

my husband told me also he would rather be in prison then jail. in prison things are cheaper in store, there is more to do, more freedom and they get contact in prison where he is but jail is behind glass and that hurts both of us. so he maybe tell you everything he is and acting like it dont bother him but im sure it does a little or maybe he just knows its better in prison then jail. sorry you are going through this we all know and understand. missing his childs first of anything must be hard for him. as far as if prison is a good thing for him well depends on how the prison are where you are.

deleted_user 12/23/2012

It sounds like he wants to turn himself around. Being able to study is a real bonus. My son is doing a correspondence course in Philosophy while he's incarcerated in Greece. I'm helping him with it as it's via the internet, so I print everything he needs and send him books and he hand-writes his essays, then I type them up and email them in for him. It's good for them to have a focus.

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