Families of Prisoners Support Group
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So, it's a possibility that he'll go into this program, which is a lot like boot camp- early morning wake ups, strenuous physical workouts, hard labor, being treated really badly by the COs who are trained as drill instructors, then some kind of counseling/classes, and early lights out. No packages from home, no commissary, one ten minute phone call every two weeks, one visit every two weeks. The facility is about 7 hours away from me.
It's not definite that this is what he'll get, but it's possible- the atty told me he and Adam talked it over and this is what they are both HOPING for...I understand why, because all Adam wants is to come home NOW, and this would be a 6 month thing. I know this sounds good- 6 month sentence...no big deal...but I am having a really hard time accepting the extremely limited contact. I know I need to try to get myself into a good place so this separation doesn't send me into a serious depression. My life has completely fallen apart since he went away three months ago, and the thought of six months with only two ten minute phone calls a month is really scary to me. I already feel so sad and stressed out!
It's not definite that this is what he'll get, but it's possible- the atty told me he and Adam talked it over and this is what they are both HOPING for...I understand why, because all Adam wants is to come home NOW, and this would be a 6 month thing. I know this sounds good- 6 month sentence...no big deal...but I am having a really hard time accepting the extremely limited contact. I know I need to try to get myself into a good place so this separation doesn't send me into a serious depression. My life has completely fallen apart since he went away three months ago, and the thought of six months with only two ten minute phone calls a month is really scary to me. I already feel so sad and stressed out!
I heard these programs are rough and intense, but certainly make a difference with the guys when they come out. Some people can't handle it. Then they go back to the regular prison.
OMG I just read the two ten minute phone calls thing again in a month, I would be not feeling so great about that either. We want to hear their voice, know that they are ok, tell them things we would normally talk about. That would be awful, but if it really gets him home.... I don't know, what's the alternative? how long otherwise if he didn't go to it? The seven hour drive is terrible. I would take a bus maybe.
You know he will miss the calls, visits too. But they will be putting him through so much stuff, he will keep busy. Question is how do you get through it?
Sometimes if he knew ahead of time he wasn't going to be able to call for a day, for some reason, if I knew it ahead of time, I missed him, but it was ok. I knew he missed the calls too, but I got busy and in some ways it was a break from the " come on hon, call, why aren't you ringing damn phone, where are you stuff you go crazy thinking if they don't call on time. We pretty much had set times.
Once he had a long bus ride to a University Hospital for tests with a group of guys. We knew it was hours of driving, hours of waiting and tests, so we figured he wouldn't get back in time to call, or couldn't get a phone at the end of the night. So I was ok all day. I knew he was out in the world, getting to look out a window of the bus, which is a big deal when you are in prison. I knew his day was different and ok for a change. The tests were no big deal. Things that they check after you are 50. So that day I just did a million things and didn't worry about that phone ringing. Then the miracle, he got back early and he did call. It was nice.
My point I think is, maybe as long as you know he can't for awhile call, and he is very busy, you will be ok. It will be sad and hard, but you will accept it in your mind somehow.
I don't know what the sentence would be if he goes to state, they still have to meet in chambers.
I think I'm being selfish, honestly. He will be busy, he will be outside a lot, and he will get a lot of exercise and counseling. I just have to find good things for myself to do...work two jobs and save up for a place so he has somewhere to come home to, write letters...I just need to find things to do.
None of this is definite yet, I'm just worrying. Thanks for the support. You always help me so much. :)
I hear those camps are like being in the Marines training camps. Grueling. Can he take it? Any way you look at it, from his point it's the only choice. He of course wants to get home. Who wouldn't.
Unfortunately with these situations, we usually have to put our wants and needs on the back burner. We aren't the ones stuck behind barbed wire fences and locked doors everywhere.
So there's another thing to consider. Even though this boot\camp thing will be rough, he will be outside, he will be doing healthy things, and fixing his mind... I think that's the object of it. And learning discipline and control, and to do what the rules demand or suffer the consequences.
My fiance was too old to get into the program, which was unfair because he is in very good shape for the most part. Well, except his heart attack a year or so ago.
I know you are dreading this. Calm down. Nothing has been decided yet.
Just think, he could be home late summer if they got him in it soon. That would be wonderful.
In NY they have raised the age limit to 50.
I don't think there are many other states with this program, and it's slowly disappearing here, too, despite getting a lot of national attention for the lower rate of recidivism. There are only three shock facilities left in the state. I've read both good and bad things about it, and I have mixed feelings, but overall I think it's our best bet. Now just have to wait and see if the DA agrees to it. Atty thinks so. I'm praying but honestly not getting my hopes up. I've been feeling low today...I'm getting anxious for Spring.