Yeo,
My suggestion to you is to not think of our loved ones as "choosing" these paths, but having trouble leaving old friends and the old lives, behind them. God bless, hope all goes well for you guys!!

thanks. i have a long road ahead of me with my son's problems. i appreciate you inpute.

I think the hardest thing to remember sometimes is that YOU know your child's heart better than anyone...you know their potential and what kind of person they really are--it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks of them. It takes some people a long time to grow up and really be confident in who they want to be and ARE deep inside. We must give them a chance. It hurts us to watch them make mistakes, but we just have to remember that there is hope and this is all part of their process of getting there. I sometimes think it's harder on the family than on the inmate...sometimes because we care more for them than they are able to care about themselves yet. Hang in there and do what you can to take care of yourself through this because you must be healthy and SANE in order to give him the love and support he needs. :-) Don't let anyone make you second-guess what you feel in your heart is right in dealing with all this. This is hard stuff!!!!

I'm not too knowledgeable, but I do know there are some excellent programs led by former inmates that help men/women get on the right path. I wonder if you could find a mentor of this type in your community.

We, as people who haven't been locked up and experienced what he has, can't help to the same degree that someone who's been in a "very similar boat" can...

Just food for thought. I've watched such programs on PBS television. They can really help people if/when they're ready to take heed.

the post from jericabe hit home for me. i have been out since 8-7-03 and have not returned due to the ties i made with organizations that do work with formerly and currently incarcerated people (women especially). It was my first time ever in jail, and I am grateful my last. The cycle can stop ANY TIME. Your son just needs a positive influence, someone who has been there is a great idea. See if you can get him connected! And do not blame yourself for his decisions. My daughter (23) has made some bad ones, just (so far thank God) she has not been caught... more food for thought... My thoughts and prayers are with you

My son too is back in prison, for the 2nd time. He was younger before, and he just did his time, survived it fine, then went right back out there with the same friend's who had progressed to worse things. He got caught up in the dealing life because it paid so much more than your average job for someone with a GED. Problem is now he is 26, has 2 little girls, and this has been terrible for him, so much more to think about. He seems to be looking at his time in a different way. He is taking every class offered to improve himself both his thinking, and career goals when he gets out.He is applying for a printer's job while in where they help place you in a job when free, later he can also work on a crew building houses for Habitat for Humanity, getting the skills he can use when out of prison. He is reading business mgmnt books, and spending his time very productively. He no longer looks for fights in jail, he spends his time bettering himself. I feel he will succeed. He knows ha cannot be with his friends that are still in that life, and his life is his family.

I'm in the same boat as you but, only the man is my brother (my husband is locked up, also)! He has his own business, a home, a truck, and beautiful children! I ask myself why lose all you have! It's part of their life, they have to go through this to get where they are going, that's the only way i can see it, it's all in the plans! good luck and keep the faith...dawnM

thanks everyone for supporting me and giving me such great advice. i will pray for your loved ones too when i pray for Moses. I guess he does have to go thru this to get to the next level. He was the child that always had to be told 3 times to do one thing. He always thought he had three chances. Hopefully he will make something of this and not let it break his spirit.

I have worked with many young people. I think that most of the ones that go down this path are very creative and smart, but the world does not appreciate these qualities therefore we do not allow them a means to express themselves so they get frustrated and take paths that we would never want them to choose.