My son is in a prison in VA as well. They can receive regular mail,(letters, no cards or magazines) get very limited commissary items (like 5 stamps a week, one pen and paper). The length of time he spends there depends on his misconduct charges. My son just got out of "the hole" and he was in for 23 days. Only gets 2 phones calls per month, I think. Tough on them.

Wow! 2 phone calls per month? That is tough! Is that after they come out, or while that are in?

Where mine is they also get magazines and books from someone that brings them to them. They learn to sleep the time away. And mine in some ways didn't mind it. He was away from the guys he couldn't stand and the loud noise. They do get depressed, and very bored, but they make it. Mine was in 136 days. That was a bit excessive. My son was in for 11 days. It depends on what he did and what they feel like giving him for time in there. They got showers, just not often. Son got 2 in 11 days, that was in MN. Fiance got them every 3 days.

The other lady on here from VA will have more information that is pertinent to your son, being in the same state.

It gave my fiance alot of time to think about being there and how he got there.

Thanks guys! I am new to this and this is the first time he has been in the hole since I met him. I'm just not sure what to expect. I appreciate your responses!

Ask us old timers at this anything. We have been through it all. It is not a fun thing to go through. You will worry about him in the HOLE, but really if he can stand the being alone, it's ok. Sometimes being with a whole bunch of people like they usually are, is awful. I would go nuts.

Imagine being thrown into a place with tons of people that you may of never talked to in your life if you were out here. Forced to eat, sleep and sit around all day with them, doing nothing. Listening to their loud talking, their stupid remarks, their immature behavior. The HOLE may be like a vacation, if mentally he can handle being locked in a little room.

Where mine went for the Assessment and Evaluation period before they placed him in a regular prison, he was locked up 23.5 hours a day in a tiny cell with two other guys he hated. Now he is in a 10 man room, for now, and it's driving him crazy. He can't go lay down til 7 pm even if he is sick, like today. In the Hole, he can sleep, read, and just be away from all the idiots, the fights, and the mean guards with attitudes.

Hopefully he likes to read. While mine was in the A & E, he read 6 novels, in about 3 weeks. He just zoned out the other noisy idiots and read. Escaped to another world with reading.

That is 2 phone calls per month while they are "in the hole". Our son lost 11 pounds in 23 days! Once he returns to the general population, all his privileges return. He was placed into a different cell and pod when he was released from the hole.

He made it out and I am proud of him for being strong in there. It was definitely a relief when he got out!!!

Been through this as well. I coped primarily by channeling all the grief and worry into action. I sent him encouraging emails every day through jpay and it helped us both.
As a prison volunteer the worst cases I see are the mentally ill who are housed in solitary sometimes for years. I write to a young man with Bipolar Disorder who has been in solitary for five years. As an RN it is horrifying to me how little the DOC understands mental illness---and subsequently punishes behavior that years ago, in a mental institution would have been dealt with much differently.

Thanks everyone! I got a letter from him today. He is ok, more worried about me and what I am going through and hates the fact that he can't call. Other than that, he says he can handle it. He will be in for about 20 more days though. I was hoping he would get away from all the people that annoy him so much, but there are still some in there yelling across to each other. He should be getting a book tomorrow, which is good because he is already bored out of his mind!

Hi...my son liked the whole...I sat here for about a month with all visions in my head of him being hysterically depressed....and abused.

And I finally got a letter from him...telling me the HOLE was better..he didn't have to deal with some idiots...so glad you heard from him and you are feeling better.

Misssy2, My son also likes the hole. lol Same reason too. I was glad to hear what it really was and not what us moms image it to be. I still worry about him just because he is in prison.

ok tuffy..than one more thing to make you feel better.
My son is out of prison and a lot of days he says he wants to go back there. With the exception of no woman (and if you have someone to put money on your books) and some guards treat them like trash, life is pretty easy for them in there.

The guards have to keep peace..They separate the people that rape and abuse children to keep those people safe. My son was tested a couple times but the fights are broken up pretty quickly and then they go to the hole.

My son thought some people got in trouble purposely to go to the hole. One thing...especially comforting for me while he was in there..(prison)..he wasn't using drugs everyday at the amount he was using. He was most healthy looking while he was there and when he first came out. Breathe..he is pretty much safe.

Too bad this affects the rest of their lives..I always write to politicians and ask them to think of a program to someday seal records for purposes of employment. I mean come on..they do their time and then have a rough time finding "gainful" employment. Not fair in my eyes.

When my son was in the hole after I heard he was OK...I sent him a joke in the mail every single day. I had found a good "adult" joke page...they were funny! He told me how he would yell the joke out to the surrounding "holers" or whatever you call them...and that they all waited everyday for the joke. He loved me for that...I did it religiously till he was out of the hole.