Michael and I have talked about marriage. He has asked several times if I would come down and marry him. I keep telling him no. We are engaged. I fully intend to marry the man of my dreams someday...but I refuse to marry him in prison. Our deal is--if I have to wait for him to come home, he can wait for me to marry him. The topic still comes up. lol. I expect it to come up several more times before he comes home. My stance won't change unless something changes in visiting policies. At this point in time, there's no differences in visitation no matter what relationship a person has with Michael. My decision isn't based on any issue with trust or anything- I just have a plan as to what I want for a wedding day...and a prison visit isn't part of that plan. In 2676 more days, we'll start seriously discussing when we're gonna run off and tie the knot. :)

That makes sense. I guess people with very long sentences may take it into more consideration.

I thought of marrying my guy but honestly why bother? he isn't going to be home with me nor will we able make decisions together like normal couples for years so honestly would I marry him now no unless there was a 150% chance when we got married he could come home with me..

We were going to. For the normal reasons of just loving each other and wanting to do it, without the frills and fancy stuff. We didn't care.

We were going to do it because in some of the prison's here, in the first part, assessment and evaluation, they don't allow you to visit if you aren't family or married. BUT he was already past all that, and we hope he don't go back in again.

We were going to do it because legally you have more rights if they get sick, or if more legal issues come up, and you need to talk to the attorney's. BUT we waited. BECAUSE they make it so damn hard to do it. We would of had to find a counselor that would have gave us counseling once a week for 6 months to a year, then find a minister that would agree to come into the prison, and the minister would have to be approved by the Warden. Oh yea, first, the Warden would have to decide if ANY of this was going to be accepted.

Then after all the counseling, planning, and waiting, they could still deny us. Just another control thing they had on us. So we did not do it. We did not want a wedding like that. We would of gotten married in a cold, bare room, with a couple people we knew IF they were approved, and then had to leave and go home alone, and him to his cell. Sometimes they give you an hour in a room, where the guard is right outside listening to any sex noises if you do that.. No thank you.

I wouldn't put it past them to have cameras in there too. So no, we waited, and will get married in a nice pretty place, when the time is right. We have waited a long, long time already, he is home, we love each other.. and I am glad we didn't do it in a prison room.

That is one day those jerks would not tell us how we could do it, when we could do it, or how short of a kiss we could do at the end. We decided that was too personal of a thing to let any of those idiot guards, or the warden have control of.

Yea I don't blame you ladies. Wow! A room for an hour? Didn't think conjugal visits were allowed but in like 2 states.

Only for your wedding day... how romantic, right???

We talked about it, but decided to wait. He actually asked if I would wait to marry him, because I was more anxious to do it than he was. I felt like I needed to show everyone- and him- that I am entirely devoted and committed to him. So I wrote him a letter asking if he would like to get married right away. I did my homework; saved up the money, told him how to fill out the paperwork, etc. A few days later, he called and asked me if I would wait until he gets out. He said he couldn't bear spending our wedding night apart, and wanted us to get married at our favorite place- a lighthouse on the river near our old house. He was so sweet and romantic, I realized how much getting married really meant to him. He wants to marry me in the world where we live, free, together. So we have decided to wait until he comes home to me. In the meantime, I had his name tattooed over my heart and surprised him by revealing it to him during a visit. :)

ha, every time Michael and I discuss marriage it turns into an argument. He wants a big wedding...all the frills. He's even figured up the ages of our nieces and nephews...and decided who'd have what job. I want to run off to the court house...sign the paperwork...drag the friend who introduced us along and say some quick "I do's" in front of the judge. It's gonna be a battle right down to the end. lol I'm gonna win though

Chris and I were married on the beach in Key West. Just the 2 of us, no family...not that our families didn't want to be there, because they did. But, we felt the need to just have it be the two of us and I am so happy we did it the way we did! It was very intimate and special. I would marry that man again every day for the rest of my life!!

I guess that's better than not getting any sex at all. lol

He brought it up because I was pregnant and thought I would get more rights. I felt like it was too hasty and unromantic. Plus like ihate said about needing so many approvals and such...ugh. Not worth it. Plus he's a big romantic so I could tell he was only trying to appease me.

I'm still not sure if we will get married yet. We have a lot of marriage counseling to be had and legal crap to figure out before I take that step. when it's right and for the right reasons we'll do it but while he's in there I refuse.

We've been talking about it because we don't have a date that he will be released so it would be different if we knew how many more years we have to go through this. So we've thrown around the idea of getting married there although it's not our dream wedding it will be our commitment to each other. We looked into it a little bit and we both have to fill out paperwork and make a request and they do 3 month counseling sessions first. They have that Jaden Moore catalog for them to order a ring from. I guess when he gets out we could always renew our vows and have a nice ceremony. I still want a traditional proposal lol

Hubby doesn't get treated any differently being married. The only benefit of being married is that it's one of the catigories to determine which level he is in the prison system.

The only other thing, is that everyone tells him that I will eventually leave ("because they all do").

I hate when people say that "they'll eventually leave"