I have a brother in custody awaiting trial and the anticipation of that is causing me so much stress that my hair has started falling out.

When he was first arrested, the initial shock was debilitating. Not only for me but for my parents which are quite elderly, with my father passing away 3 months later due to the stress. Our whole lives changed that moment and now coping with the seriousness of the case and personal and social impact has been the hardest things i have ever been experienced. 

The arrest was in the media and the public's opinion on social media along with the stigma placed on him and on your own character in your community is something is confronting and on-going with a lot more to come once the trial commences.

He is also in another state which makes it all the more difficult as he is alone and we are not in a financial situation to be able to visit as frequently as we would like. Dealing with your my feelings is difficult, but when I think of my brother in jail and what he must be going through literally breaks my heart. I break down every time. 

I have tried to research as much as possible to educate myself in criminal proceedings and searched for hours on end for any sort of information that may help in any way which actually isn't much. I've learned that the legal system is heavily flawed, lawyers are difficult and hard to trust and that jail doesn't rehabilitate crime but definitely creates mental health issues for not only the inmate but for those directly affected by the case.  

The trial starts in March 2020, and is expected to go for 10 to 12 weeks. I want to be there for support, only I do not know how I will be able to manage it. Supporting my mother and considering what effect this will have on her life, personally, mentally and physically not to mention my own. I will have to leave work for 12 weeks (with additional time possible if the case is prolonged) I will need to find accommodation in the city to be close to court and I will need to find employment to be able to support myself, with the difficulty of only being available for night shift seeing I will have to be attending court during the day. What about my mother? She is in her 70's and suffers from a variety of health problems. She wants to support him also but now has to move to another state for 12 weeks and cope with the emotional stress of the of a criminal trial against her son. She will be displaced from her normality and her support group of people, with her own home being vacant with ongoing bills to pay while she is away. The cost of travelling back and forth will be astronomical so is not really an option.

With so many concerns i tend to start panicking and found I then have to distract myself with something not relating to the case in fear that the stress will have more of an effect on me than my hair falling out. I can not distract myself forever as leaving these changes too late will cause additional stress. 

It was so tough in the beginning but I feel it's becoming harder as I haven't been able to manage or process all my thoughts and feelings. I am angry and sad, I feel helpless and depressed, I do my best to be strong but I also feel so sorry for him and so concerned for my mothers' well-being and for my future. 

There isn't enough information or support for families that have a family member in prison. I wouldn't know where to go or who to ask for the best and accurate information I need.

Advice or suggestions on how or what I can do in my situation would be highly appreciated. I am unable to sleep and I have no clue how to figure all this out.