Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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Bella63 07/29/2018

My son has recently been convicted of a serious sex offence that he didn't do. he has been through 3 trials and each time this girl in question has added more and more to the story. No medical evidence and lto sof evidence we weren't allowed to use and it would have proved his innocence. Nobody expected the guilty verdict and we are all still in shock, he was taken straight down to the cells. The past 3 weeks have been hell, visiting him in prison, coming to terms he will be a SO and treated badly, telling people and worse still is waiting for sentencing and the press, meaning everybody will know. It is like I am living in a different unreal world. I get up, I go to work, I go through the motions but inside I have died. I talk to friends but dont think they really udnerstand how I feel, my other kids are getting on with their lives. And now his long term girlfriend who wanted to marry him not so long ago is likely going to dump him. It will break his heart and whilst I understand she has to gt on with her life I am so angry. I go from being upset and sad to really angry, then helpless as I can't do anything. I go to visits and see others in same position but there is nobody I can really talk to. How do people cope with this.

Pharrah 07/30/2018

I'm so sorry to hear that. It will get easier in time, no matter how impossible it seems right now, so don't give up. You'll both have to support each other emotionally through this, because no one understands the situation as well as the people who are living it.

pointman 07/30/2018

Bella63,

Most of us have a view of the world that has been presented to us by media, institutions, politics, etc... that may be not as true as we have been led to believe. You are going to find out continually that things in the world are not quite what you were told they were and it is going to be a painful adjustment. Justice is one of these. This is normal. Unfortunately. What you're experiencing is called cognitive dissonance. Your son's situation is not uncommon sadly. I will add more when I'm not working. Keep reaching out for resources; you will need them.

f8th4love 07/30/2018

I feel your pain but in this case I am the long time girlfriend who is willing to support and marry him. My bf was wrongfully convicted with no physical evidence or no evidence at all, only hear say.. one incident not cause by him. Now his mother turned his back at him and I am all he has and his 10 yr old son with autism that I’m raising. He is in reception at the moment , only 1 15 min call a mo , no visitation til I get approved 3 1/2 hours away . He spends his day in his bunk reading to avoid contact with anyone. He is very depressed and is having the worst time. Please do not leave him alone, write every day, have faith and try to take care of yourself to be able to be strong. I break down at night to cry but at the same time ask God for strength and to keep him safe. They need us!
Feel free to pm me if you need to❤️

Bella63 07/30/2018

Thanks for your kind words and support. It is good having people who understand how I feel and that in fact innocent people can be found guilty.

f8th4love 07/30/2018

@bella63 I think because all the celebrities etc.. committing sex crimes is why this judges, jurys etc are just convicting. I also think there should be a statue of limitations. My bf incident was 15 yrs ago and it was investigated by the authorities and no founding.. why now the “victim” comes forward? I’m furious.

sadspirit 07/31/2018

Dear Bella, I feel your pain. My son is also currently incarcerated and has been in a holding facility for two years now. He is in the hole, unable to call me; use commissary, etc...this has been hell and has forever changed us all. He hasn’t seen sunshine or been to a yard to work out for two years! He will get sentenced August and is facing state and federal charges for the same alleged crime. There is no support in place for these men. The laws disgust me as murderers get far less sentenced than SO crimes. I know about your heart breaking, I know your sorrow, and sadness. I reach out to you and hug you and say we have to hang in there the best we can for our sons! One day at a time, one breathe, moment by moment. And, yes this is the hardest thing any one should have to go through. My thoughts are with you and your son,

Bella63 07/31/2018

at least my son is in a UK prison, able to wear own clothes, do education and gym and gets regular visits and phone calls. It must be awful not being able to speak to your son sadspirit. Very little support for prisoners families, especially parents. Lots for prisoners with children but not mothers and fathers. SO visits are in a separate building, we all go in with heads down and nobody speaks to each other but we all feel the same You are right SO offenders get treated the worse. There are support groups for everything in UK but nothing for families of prisoners. What makes it worse if he doesn't accept treatment as they call it, his sentence could be longer and as he is innocent he wont.

pointman 07/31/2018

Ladies,
Thank you for all that you do for your loved ones and your huge hearts. You are what keeps those you love human. You are the bits of sunshine that your loved one will get while walking through the darkness. No matter how you feel, your worth is immeasurable. You make all the difference in the world.

f8th4love,
Actually, for a long time now things have been this way. Men have been getting convicted on borderline hearsay for maybe 10 - 15 years now. And punishments for borderline crimes have been going up and up for maybe 20. You will never find a better political platform in the states than tough on crime and do it for the children. The celebrity crimes are actually taking away from the real issues going on.

A few good resources:
http://www.sexoffenderresource.com
http://www.womenagainstregistry.com/
https://narsol.org/

jaydezzy 03/19/2019

Hi, I understand that this post is getting close to it's 1 year mark. The same thing just happened a month ago to my brother. How do y'all manage day by day?

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