Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
I'm not sure I'm in the right place- my fiance isn't in prison, but he was, and currently he resides in a psychiatric hospital (which is basically the same thing). I guess I'm here because I've become distant from a lot of my friends, and my family doesn't understand, so there's no one to talk to when I just need to vent. I thought maybe finding people who are in similar situations might help.
The biggest difference between prison and a psychiatric facility is that when you go to prison, you know when you're going home. Neither is better or worse than the other, and they both take an equally horrible toll on the friends, family, and partners left behind, but five years in prison is exactly that- five years. Five years in a psychiatric facility can easily turn into ten, fifteen, or however long they decide to keep you there because they have the means to do so and they will use those means in any way they can to prevent releasing you back into the community.
Obviously, most people don't know that until it's too late, and someone with young children who is facing 30+ years in prison might think that 5 years in a psychiatric hospital will get them home to their kids faster, but that's simply not the case.
I came into the picture after prison, and that's where I'm at now- stuck in limbo. By the grace of God, we somehow managed to get visitation recently, so that is one major positive. It's just difficult not knowing what to expect. One day they're talking about discharge and the next day they're actively taking steps to hold him back...and it's worthy to note that there is a huge difference between "talking about discharge" and "planning for discharge"- even if they were PLANNING for discharge, that could still be a couple of years down the road, but right now all they're doing is talking. It's like a horror movie- the patient keeps asking when they get to go home and the staff just stare at you blankly and tell you they don't have any information for you yet...and that's the same story they tell you every single time you ask for years at a time.
It's just frustrating. Neither of us mind waiting, but it would be so much easier if we knew what (when) we were waiting for. Having a set date would make the whole thing less daunting. It would be something to look forward to, rather than spending each day wondering if we're going to be stuck in this same spot ten years from now and still not able to get any answers. But that's the system for you, I guess :/
I think your in the right place regardless if its prison or a physic unit your still away from your loved one and still dealing with a crap system.
Having worked in the system myself, I'm torn between knowing that there are a lot of great people there (on both sides of the fence) who legitimately are doing the best that they can, and also seeing how completely broken the system is and wondering how on earth they could ever try to pass off what they're doing as "helping" people. It's all just a mess, and with these things being as big of an issue as they are, they are severely understaffed and have too limited resources to actually accomplish a productive goal for anyone. It's like trying to bail out a sinking ship with a tea cup.