I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn't. Just try to be there for him as best as you can, but don't lose sight of taking care of yourself as well. I don't have any experience with the prison system myself (only the mental health system, which isn't much better), but I've heard a lot of people on here say that establishing a budget is very important. And letters may not seem like much to you or I, but they can mean a world of difference to someone who's locked up, especially if they aren't allowed to use the phone as much as they would like, so write write write! Send pictures of you're allowed to!

I hope you're able to visit your brother soon, and always remember that you're not alone in this!

Definitely send those letters as those are a lifeline for him!

As Pharrah said if he's going to be calling set a monthly budget or see if he can get a calling card like my fiance has.

There's going to be good days and bad days but just let him know you're there for him always. My fiance and I have 8 more years to go and sometimes it's really hard but we're getting through it! Take it day by day.

Thank you, I really appreciate the support. Would y'all recommend a letter once a week or daily/every 2 days?

When my ex first went in I wrote everyday then I started every other day to once a week to every other week to uh I really should write a letter(we talked every day so not much to say) also look on the prison site for what they can get because where my ex is they can't get cards and you can only use black or blue ink or pencil I wouldn't recommend pencil because of how paranoid I am I was always afraid someone would change what I wrote... the other thing is phone calls can be $$$ so if your able to get a pre paid phone and get a local number to the prison .. when you set the phone up will say something along the line where will this number be used most Put the prison zip code and will send you a list of local numbers you can choose from I do not recommend getting a google number as the prison might revoke him from calling you.. if your going help him financially set a budget up ...

How frequently have you been talking to him? Are you able to talk to him on the phone? When my fiance and I first started dating we weren't able to talk on the phone much so we would write a lot more frequently than we do now, sometimes every day. Now that we can visit and talk more often on the phone, he doesn't write much at all and I only do once a week. It's kind of a double-edged sword because on the one hand, I'm sure he'll look forward to the letters, but on the other hand if you write too frequently you kind of run out of things to say, you know? There's no right or wrong amount honestly, just whatever you both are comfortable with!

they keep moving him to different locations so its hard to know if he gets my letters. i've sent him books to read and i'm watching his favorite tv show to talk about it with him. i dont really get phone calls, he saves that for my dad. they just relocated him last tuesday and told us yesterday, so we're waiting for a new mailing address.

Wow, that's rough when he can be moved like that without much notice to his family. I would think they'd have to either forward his mail or have it returned to you if he wasn't getting it though? I don't think they can just throw it out, but then again I don't have much experience with the prison system so I could be wrong

i hope he gets them eventually. but i'll be more consistent with sending him letters. thank you for the support

You'll know if he's not getting the letters because they'd send them back to you.

I don't know if you order his books or if you sent them yourself but if you sent them yourself they will come back to you.. also some prisons you can only order from certain vendors ... we could only order from amazon and Barnes and noble and i believe only paperback books no hard covers ..also when my ex first went in they moved him like 5 times and I believe he got all his letters I never got them back. Also be carful what you write in letters I've gotten letters back for the stupidest reasons..

Thank you for your replies, I will keep all this in mind when sending him letters and books.