Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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Sk8erchick
Sk8erchick

I have been looking for somewhere to get some emotional support since my husband was arrested 5 days ago on allegations of child sex abuse.  I hope I will find the support that I need here.  I can't go into details of the actual case, but I can say that when my husband was 5-6 yeas old, he started to be sexually abused by an uncle.  His mom told me that in kindergarten, he attempted suicide by stepping in front of a school bus.  She was still oblivious to what he was going through, and I am furious that she didn't get him help.  Anyways, the abuse lasted for years, well into adulthood.  My husband didn't know how to stop the abuse, I think he was afraid also.  I understand that since he is over 18, it isn't legally abuse anymore, but his self esteem was so low that he must have figured that there was not better thing for him.  We met almost 2 years ago, got married 1 year ago, in that time this uncle still came around for booty calls.  I know that if the allegations of abuse by my husband are true, he needs to pay for it, he needs to apologise and make things right.  He also needs therapy, and he needs to heal himself.  I am choosing to stay with him because I know he felt powerless, he didn't know how to stop it.  I would love to see this uncle rot in prison for this, but the statute of limitations is up, so I will only get the satisfaction of revealing who he really is.  His wife will see that I am not making up lies about this affair that her husband was nurturing.  I am hoping that the ruling will be fair for all parties involved.  I just want my husband home as soon as possible, I love him so incredibly much.

Scaredkitty
Scaredkitty
Hi!
I completely understand your anger and fear. Things are going to become very difficult for you. If he is convicted, you get to make some tough choices. My fiancé has 10-30 years as a convicted sex offender. Because I am choosing to stay with him, my life has changed dramatically. I never knew my capacity for love. I struggle financially every month trying to stick to a budget. Prison debt is very real.
You won't find out what is next until it happens. I decided to attend S-Anon meetings which is for friends and families of sexaholics. It is SO helpful to be accepted and know I am not alone. (S-anon.org) If you want to ask more questions or vent, please message me. Blessings!
LilyRose18
LilyRose18
I understand what you're going through. I have the anger and fear and pain. My very close friend was abused emotionally and physically as your husband is and due to it my friend were diagnosed with major anxiety and major depression. We are on here to help you if anything else goes on and to be here to help you vent and cope. As Scaredkitty said, the S-Anon meetings are very helpful and fulfilling. I will be praying for you and your husband. <3
Bugoff2123
Bugoff2123
It sounds like you are not trying to say he didnt do it and know he did and are just making an excuse for it. Sorry but you need something other than emotional support. You need to reevaluate yourself as a person. You are one of the reasons why child sex abuse runs rampant. You support a predator who preys on the young and innocent. Think about how that child feels while it happens and the lasting effects. Being abused yourself is no excuse. It takes a very sick and twisted and nasty person to do that to a child. They do it to children because they are the only ones they can threaten and overpower. In reality they are the biggest weak kneed pussy ass people in the world. Supporting him and offering out excuses for his actions makes you just as sick as him. I hope you never have children or get your mind right first. This is a major problem in society today and if people dont get quit supporting, enabling, and protecting the chomos its only going to get worse.it fucking sickens me.
Bugoff2123
Bugoff2123
Only thing you are right about is his uncle needing to pay. According to you you knew about it so why didnt you try and do or say something to stop it? The other major reason it is rampant, no one ever does or says shit about it. If you so called love some one and know their being hurt do something about it. People need to quit being scary ass bitches and stand up for whats right. Sorry I just tell it how it is. I hope you realize what your doing. Quit supporting and loving pedophiles. Its wrong. Nothing about it is right.
Sk8erchick
Sk8erchick
I only knew about it after my husband told me the day before we saw his attorney. The attorney told me to talk to no one about anything. I wanted to go to the police so badly. A few years ago, I tried to turn a guy in for getting my 16 year old niece pregnant, the cop told me that if she wouldn't claim to be a victim, there was no victim. I now think the cop was wrong in telling me that, but I learned that sometimes it is hard to open a case.
And the accusations that my husband is facing are from when he himself was a minor, it is ridiculous that things are being brought up now.
Sk8erchick
Sk8erchick
Oh, and I'm sorry that I care about someone that has made mistakes in the past. I'm sure you have never made any mistakes in your life, bugoff2123. Take your negativity and bitterness elsewhere, it's not wanted here.
LilyRose18
LilyRose18
I'm sorry for what that person said, they shouldn't of spoke about the situation in that way @Sk8erchick Your husband does need help in the sense of overcoming what was done to him and what he did. I can't imagine the pain he experienced, but he needs to find another way to cope with it in other ways than hurting other children sexually. If he begins therapy and the therapist talks to you, tell them everything you know so they can help your husband as best as they can. I hope that everything gets figured out and your husband gets the help he needs. Stay strong!!