Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
Hi! My name is Nikki. I'm 36 yrs old & don't kno if I wasting my time. I started writing a guy that was sentenced to 10yrs in federal prison. He has at worse case scenario 4 more years. I have known this person since kindergarten. We didn't hang out or even talk all the time. We would just touch base with each other via Facebook. He has been dealing with addiction issues for a very long time but he seemed to be doing a lot better & getting his life together. Next thing I know the feds got him. So I of course would try & keep up with what was going on. A couple years later a mutual friend of ours posted my guys information & asked people to write to him. At that time I was married & even though we were just friends it didn't seem right to write him. Well just a couple months ago now that I am divorced & have been for a couple years, I randomly thought of him & wrote him a email. Since then we have gotten so close & he has literally become my best friend. We write letters, we email several times a day, & he calls a couple times a week. We have both told each other we were falling for the other but he says that he won't put a title on anything while he is locked up because he would never ask me to change my life like it would if were actually together. I have told him I know what I'm signing up for & I'm ready to ride with him all the way but still same answer. Friends & family are starting to make me think I'm being used &/or it's just all bullshit. Please help...
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Which explains the mysterious fevers and my extra fatigue. I'm so glad I pushed for answers.
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Due to my increased paranoia, anxiety, and a panic attack over the weekend, my psychiatrist has put me back in a full dose of Zyprexa until further notice. Every time I think I'm getting ahead something happens and it's back to square one. I knew he was gonna do this but I can't help feeling disappointed. It is what it is.
It seems almost perfect it can be so powerful...… What I do believe is that there is a lot of fantasy involved
This man is completely controlled now in an institution so your relationship is about what will be and how perfect it is..... This perfect love based on what you want in your mind
Getting out of prison will then become a real thing and a very hard thing to then readjust to society after 10 years of being in a controlled environment … That's when the fantasy be is usually challenged in a huge way
After years of living in prison the outside would become this beautiful dream but life it hard and so is readjustment to the world especially for someone with a history of addiction...
The idea that the world is wonderful is the BS and it's a dream.... Life is hard and we get lots of hard knocks.... This seems to be forgotten when a person is doing a long prison sentence.... They start to think things will be perfect when......
I think you would be wise to not change your life around him and not because of anything that he's doing in an unkind way....
You could still write and visit however continue to live your life but at this point this isn't the way a real relationship progresses.... Our minds fill in the blanks when it's mostly fantasy and of course that's perfect but it's not real....
Friendship will be great however I think people often get hurt when fantasy becomes a reality
He's alone now and without a partner so I imagine you are very important to him ….. He's not in a good place and without choices..... I have no doubt this is very important to him in prison.... I just am unsure of how he will be when life returns to what is more 'normal.... I don't think a lot of these relationships survive in society
Big hug...….xo
kudos to your guy telling you he’s not going label the relationship.... I think you should just be friends while he’s lock up and when he gets out look into getting into a relationship...
starting a romantic relationship while one in prison isn’t a wise idea..I’m not saying he’s using you or anything ..you just need to keep your guard up .. (I’m not trying to hurt you or scare you) there is a possibility when he gets out he will just move on ....so just be carful..
It's difficult to live with someone you love.