Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
Hi this is my first time in a support group so I hope I do this right. I'm here because my Boyfriend of a year has been sentenced to 18 months in prison. This is something I have never experienced through my life and I'm learning very quickly how hard its going to be. We are only 1 month in and I'm already wondering how the heck I'm going to get through this. At first it was easier because he was in County for the first 3 weeks so I was able to see him once a week that was great!! Now he is in reception and i don't know how long it will be before I get to see him or get to hear his voice! I'm writing him like crazy but I feel like I'm over doing it! I don't want to feel like I'm bugging him, he tells me he loves my letters but I guess I'm just worried that its to much. I think its just me over thinking things witch I seem to do a lot! My ups and downs are crazy hard! I miss him so much and I'm trying to stay strong but boy is it hard! I know once he gets to the prison he will be staying things might get better because then I can finally make plans to go see him, even though I'm sure it will be very far away! When he gets out he will be Paroling back to my house and I just want to be sure I am there for him as much as I possibly can from out here. I want to show him how special he is and even though hes there and I'm here I love him with all my heart and I don't want him to doubt it!..Anyway I love reading all of your stories on here and it has given me ideas of how to keep our love alive. It gives me hope that we can make it, its going to be a LONG 18 months and any advice would be great. Thank you so much for listening :)
Keep writing to him the letters are important to both of you and will keep you both going. Is he albe to get any good time? Coz if he can he won't do the full 18 months. Once you can sort out your visits when his at his home prison it should make it a bit easier on you.
Keep coming hear we will help if we can!
See, in prison, it's like a status symbol who gets the most letters. They all wait for the mail to come, and see who gets mail, and who don't. In one of the jails he was in, sometimes he was the only one that got mail, some days... and he knew there would always be a letter there for him. If I missed even once, it upset him. The guys would comment, about his woman being awesome and they wished theirs was like me.
It's a way they look important .
I would copy articles from our local newspapers. ( couldn't send the paper itself.) I would send things he would want to know about.
I also signed him up for as many free catalogs of everything he might want to look at as I possiby could. Things like tools, car parts, boat accessories, and of course things like how to remodel our home, how to build decks, and the materials that he could later order for them. It gave him something to plan that he could do when he got out.
I am one of the old timers on here in more ways than my age. I have been on this site about 8 years. My son and fiance were both in prison more than a couple times each. Son has been home now 3 years, fiance just got home 7 months ago. Son was in 4 years the last time, fiance was in 3.5 years this time. So I have lots of ideas, advice, and understanding about all of this.
It is very hard to stay strong. You will think you never can survive this, but you will. I am proof of that. We get angry, we get scared, we cry, but we survive. And this group is one big reason that it's possible.
Until I found DS, I couldn't find anyone that understood. These people are awesome.
Welcome to the group, ask anything... and vent antime you need to. I am still on here, and I still vent. Life is not that easy after they get home. Prison does leave an imprint on them for awhile.
Just like you, my fianc is facing about a year and a half in prison. He's been in county since November and he was just sentenced last week. It was hard to hear the sentence he was given, knowing that he'll be gone for so long, but I'm dealing.
As clich as it sounds, you just have to take it one day at a time. Try to find one thing everyday that makes you smile. If you're able to, look into counseling. I went to my first counseling session yesterday and I can tell that it's gonna be helpful. My family is very supportive but it's nice to talk to someone unbiased.
I hope you're able to find some peace. Just keep in mind that our guys absolutely love the letters we send. I can pretty much guarantee you that you're not over doing it :)
Jellyfish