Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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Need reassurance

CantWait2015
CantWait2015
So I used to talk to my guy multiple times a day lately I have only been getting 1 phone call, everything is good when he does call but he tells me I will call back and never does he has t wrote in over 2 weeks either. He says he is busy (in my mind I'm like busy... Your freaken in prison) but he is taking 2 or 3 classes and does work in a store and they are closing down the store or did last week And so I thought he would call more today but he hasn't and I'm worried I know it's not convenient to get a phone but he always managed before. He also has his 6 month review this week. Also I bought him a tv (probably dumb for my sake but it's not all about me and I know that so I thought it would help him out) but I just feel like something's going on and I don't know what. Things are great on the phone when we talk but I just feel like something is going on besides ring busy....
CantWait2015
CantWait2015
Sorry there is errors I'm on a phone, the last part is being busy not ring busy and I meant to say the store closed the end of last week.
yvonda84
yvonda84
You're lucky he gets to call even that often. My guy can only call every 7 to 8 days. Sounds like he has been truly busy. I know they have down time but seems like they have time where they're busy with the prison life situations that we will never understand here on the outside unless we've experienced it ourselves. Maybe as far as the letters, go, has he not been to the commissary to buy envelopes? Soul search to see what your true concerns are. Then, talk to him about it without pressuring him. I forgot are you able to visit weekly? Good luck!
angeladam
angeladam
I'm so sorry you're worried. I think he probably is busy- we just worry so much because everything is out of our hands. If things are good when you talk, I think it's okay. Have you told him you miss talking to him more than once a day?
CantWait2015
CantWait2015
Thank you both I haven't got to see him since last July or August. I have told him I miss him he says he promises he will call more but doesn't. Letters no he has plenty of money for that stuff him mom gives him money all the time no he just says he has been busy. That's it :( I know I'm lucky to get to talk that often but it's also hard when your used to something then it all changes.
angeladam
angeladam
This might just be one of those times all couples go through- even ones who are together, not separated. Sometimes there are just times when one or both people are not quite as available as they used to be. It will pass, he might just be in a mood, or feeling quiet- it's okay, I think.
CantWait2015
CantWait2015
Thank you. He called me at 5 which is late for him and I know I'm just freaken out but when I'm stressed over alot then I worry about him and us too. He just reexplained how it's hard to get a phone and they are not available at all times and there are long waits etc etc. it's just especially hard since I haven't seen him in so many months and it's just tough lots of stuff going on right now.
angeladam
angeladam
I totally understand, I really do. It's so hard with them away from us. I'm glad you got to talk to him. Maybe you can see him soon- I hope so!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Like everyone else has said, I really do think he's just busy. I'm glad for him, in that he goes to classes and works during the day, so it probably makes his day go by faster.
It also could be that he's in sort of a "funk." He may have a lot on his mind and is in a quiet mood and doesn't feel like talking much, but he at least calls you once a day to reassure you that he's ok, and to make sure you're ok. My guy has gone through that too, hence, why I haven't received a letter from him in a month. How long has this been going on for? Hugs to you :)
CantWait2015
CantWait2015
Thank you all I know it was just a little freak out moment
CantWait2015
CantWait2015
Well I just freaked out too soon he truly was busy and has called me three times today so everything is good... Thank goodness
yvonda84
yvonda84
Good to hear!
angeladam
angeladam
That's nice news! :)
Jeshua333
Jeshua333
Looks like my reply is too late, but I will give it anyway. A friend of mine taught me many years ago something that I believe to be the truth. She said whenever there is a situation such as this one, if you choose to think the negative thoughts about it (and the ego mind can run wild with it "He doesn't care anymore" etc), we begin to feel the emotions that we would feel if that were truly the case. But if we choose to believe the best case scenario (until it is confirmed or we are proven otherwise) we don't go through those awful emotions.So lets always choose to think the best thoughts around any given situation.
I hope that makes sense :)
I'm sending you a hug warm hug from Spain.
CantWait2015
CantWait2015
Thanks so much I definitely think that's so true sometimes it's hard to do though but I remind myself often it will be okay