Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
I am new so I was reading through the discussions and I read multiple times that our families are not supporting us sticking by our inmates side. When My husband was arrested I knew my parents (I am an only child) would have an opinion and I might not like it so this is how the conversation went. I told both my parents before they could say anything that they have the right to feel how they want and have whatever opinion they want but them bad mouthing or degrading my husband was not going to be of benefit to me or my relationship with them. I let them know my intentions of being 100% supportive of him and doing what I can to make sure this time goes as easy and as peaceful as can be. My parents now seem to support me 100% and I think it is because I laid the boundries out from the beginning. I have lost some friends or actually most of them but I have also made some new ones. And I figure if I make friends with them at rock bottom they have to love me at my best right?
Just because someone makes a mistake, don't change who they were before, when their friends and our families liked and loved them.
How would they like to be abandoned by everyone if something happened like this to them. People can't put themselves in others places. They can't envision the possibility that people mess up. People can't acknowledge that every day most everyone does do something illegal, whether it is a small thing or not. But they just don't get caught. There are statistics on that.
You see old people at McD's, take a hand full of creamer to bring home. That's stealing. People will take the extra toilet paper roll sitting in a public rest room, that is stealing. The list goes on of " innocent things" people do every day, that they could be in trouble for.
No matter what our people in prison did, they deserve love, and understanding and compassion.
My mom has hated my fiance all the time I have been with him, because her friend used to be his neighbor and had a jaded, snooty perspective of him. She hates him because he got drunk driving charges, yet my brothers are both alcoholics and she loves them.
I don't judge people on what their charges were, because they may not be what really happen. Cops arrest people and DA's and the cops make up charges to make it worse to put them in prison.
Stay strong about your right to love him and support him and be with him.
In a couple days my parents are coming to my house for the first time. Mom wouldn't come if he were here. He said to put all his pictures away so it don't cause a fight. I said NO... this is your house too. It is OUR house. I will not put one thing of yours away so my mom don't see them. You are part of my life and that's that. This is OUR house, they will be visiting OUR home, so their rules don't apply here.
My dad wanted him to be able to come to family stuff when he was home. Mom wouldn't allow it. Now let's see what she is like in OUR territory.
I don't know you, but I am proud of you for setting them straight. I wish I could just do that.
As far as friends deserting you because you stayed with your husband when he got in trouble... they are NOT friends if they did that. I have lost many and I really don't care. They all get on FB spewing all their wonderful life stories. Showing their fancy vacation pictures, bragging about their PERFECT lives.... that's a laugh. They all have stories about bad stuff in their lives, they just don't say it to everyone. They are fakes.